Friday, August 21, 2015

Youre going to be OK.

Pent up, isolated and scared. That's what my life has become. How did I get here? Why did I allow it to happen? I allowed fear, impasse, and apathy be my guides. I allowed my life to become a broken, joyless playground where the equipment is beginning to rust. I never dreamed I would lose control of my happiness; it was replaced with an insidious lack of self confidence. To the outside world, I appeared to have it all--- long standing and solid marriage, 3 beautiful children, a nice career, a wonderful house and tons of friends. After all, isn't this the definition of having it all? Beautiful things, beautiful rings, and I (the beautiful) sings...about the loneliness and complete isolation I feel right now. That was, I felt until I met a friend from first grade who helped me see the light. He said, live, breathe! You're going to be OK. Lisa Ekanger

Friday, August 14, 2015

Receive the moments with open arms...

I wish I could live every day like today. I wish I could start every day with a deep appreciation for the life that surrounds me. Today is a calm and peaceful day for me. I am all alone, in my sisters cozy home sitting quietly while being hypnotized by the soothing sound of the tick tock of her 100 yr old mantle clock. In a perfect world you might think I would wish for this kind of serene morning every day; but that my friends is flawed thinking. I do not wish for this everyday...this day is the savory once a year chocolate covered cherry, only to be fully appreciated because it is so rare. Today I feel very loved. Today my sister picked out my outfit for my 30th class reunion. Today my niece rounded up all the hair care products I could need to look like a million bucks. Today my brother-in-law took time out of his busy work day to text me the wifi password for their house. Today, my beloved Dad is laying in a hospital bed in downtown Minneapolis as he tries to begin (yet again) to heal his weary body. Do I feel compelled to rush back to him? No. Last night I spent two hours caressing his forehead, rubbing his shoulders and squeezing his hand as he worked to get comfortable. Quiet beautiful moments come in all sorts of packaging and love is shown to me through the small simple gestures of family interaction that move perfectly back and forth like the pendulum of that clock. Today I say, "Carpe Diem!" In big ways and in ever so small barely detectable ways ---look for joy, give joy, receive the moments with open arms as you seize the day. Lisa Ekanger