Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Setting A Goal By Mike Pallin, Floyd Wickman Team How do I go about setting an income goal for next year? Each of us begins the year with a hope, or a wish, or a dream, or a desire, or an expectation – but only 5% of the general population actually begins the year with a specific, measurable, written goal. And, if the experts are to be believed, only 5% of that 5% actually track activity and results throughout the year, stay on track, and achieve their goals. So if the odds are that slim, why even bother? Why not just start the year with a dream or wish or hope or expectation and leave it at that? Surely if the goal is vague enough, just ending up close enough will be good enough, won’t it? Here’s why it won’t be. The 2014 Get By Giving Award Winner, John Brown, tells the story of sitting in the front row at his first Master Sales Society event. When Floyd directed everyone in the room, saying, “Open up your workbook and write down your income goal for the next 12 months,” John wrote down $50,000. I will let John continue the story from here. “A year later, sitting in the front row at my next Master Sales Society event, as Floyd directed each of us to write down our goal for the next 12 months, I thought back over the past 12 months, and realized I had earned at least $50,000. That gave me the courage to write down $75,000 for the next 12 months.” “Another year later, sitting in the front row, as Floyd was directing us to write our goal down, I realized I had made at least $75,000 in the past 12 months, and I wrote down $100,000. Then it hit me. Why didn’t I write down $100,000 two years ago?!” Two points from John’s story. One, write it down. It doesn’t exist until it’s written down. A goal isn’t specific until it is written down. Progress can’t me measured until the goal is written down. You won’t even remember it a year later and know whether or not you hit your goal unless you write it down. And two, think bigger. By and large, you won’t achieve more than you believe you can. But once you believe, the sky’s the limit. So, if that’s the case, where do I start? Do I just pull a number out of thin air? Or is there some more scientific way to come up with my goal? Here are five questions that should point the way. Spend some time answering these five questions, and your dreams, hopes, wishes, desires and expectations will propel you to a specific and measurable income goal you can believe and achieve. 1. What do my SMART Numbers from this year tell me? Without numbers, it’s all guesswork, so start with your numbers. How much did I earn this year? How many closings? How many pended? What percentage of my listings sold and closed? What percentage of my buyer sales pended and closed? Just like Floyd teaches us in Session 6 with the 10 Ingredients of Achieving A Long Range Goal, drill it down to activity. How much time do I need to devote to prospecting and lead generation? How many conversations? How many appointments? 2. Where did my business come from this year? Take a look at sources. What percentage of closings come from Book of Business? Expireds? For Sale By Owners? Repeat? Networking? Social Media? Etc. And then take a look at which sources returned the highest commission per closing. When you are able to start connecting income with activity, a goal number will start to become clearer. 3. What marketing dollars that I spent to generate business paid off and what didn’t? This kind of analysis would seem obvious, wouldn’t it? You would think so. But one of our good friends, Don Hobbs, who founded and ran the #1 marketing company in the real estate industry, reminded me again recently of this old truth. “The #1 mistake real estate agents make with marketing is they base their spending decisions on what makes them feel good, instead of what gets results.” Once you know what’s working to get results, and what isn’t getting results, you can make smarter marketing decisions. Do more of this. Do less of that. Now that goal number will begin to get a little clearer. 4. How accurately do I keep track of my expenses? One question you don’t want to end up asking yourself is, “Where did it all go?” There are all kinds of effective systems available for keeping track of expenses. Systems that work automatically, digitally, almost magically, to give you a clear picture of how much it costs to run your business. American Express has a great system. Top Producer includes a great system. If you are still stuck in the shoe-box-full-of-receipts mode, this is definitely one area where technology can make life easier. Once you have a clear picture of how much it costs to run your business, where you can economize and where you can afford to occasionally splurge guilt-free, that goal number will come into focus a little more sharply. 5. How do I allocate my income? Good salespeople are cash generating machines. They are also generally poor money managers. One of the smartest things I see good salespeople do is forced savings. Earmark a percentage or specific amount of each commission check to automatically (AUTOMATICALLY!) go into a forced savings account and not into your pocket. There’s nothing like a cash reserve to take the sting out of commission income ups and downs. Beyond that, take a bird’s eye view of your gross income and estimate percentages that need to be set aside for taxes, business expenses, living expenses, investments, vacations, charity, etc. Once you get a clear picture of where to allocate your gross income, and how to allocate each check, that income number for next year will become a lifestyle you can live comfortably in, a future you can see, and a goal you can believe in. Lisa Ekanger Your Hometown Realtor!
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 11:27 AM
Saturday, December 20, 2014
Dear Sugar, First of all, I love you. You’ve been there for me during some of the hardest times of my life. You were there for me when I decided to come off of self pity and live a happier life. You helped me feel okay in the middle of my dark night of the Soul. You were there for me when I tore my rotator cuff in Jr. High School and I would never be able to play my favorite game of Baseball ever again. You were there for me every Halloween as I celebrated finding you at the houses of all the kind strangers. You were there for me growing up as I watched TV with my family. We all shared in your yumminess together. We even learned to connect around tables of your sweetness because you made us feel better. It took me a long time to realize how much I loved you. I could be a real jerk when you weren’t around. All I could think about was having more and more of you. The more of you I had, the more of you I wanted. And it started to turn from a relationship, into a craving and from a craving into an addiction. You were jealous because you didn’t want me seeing anyone else. You hated it when I would hang out with cucumbers, or kale or lean meats. You objected when I wanted to give you up every January 1st. You told me that next time it would be different. You kept promising that you were good for me. And I believed you when you told me that I deserved you after a hard day’s work. Even though you were there for me during the dark times, you never wanted me to be the real, authentic healthy me. We could only be good together when I put you first and myself second. I know that you helped me during some of my saddest days and for that I will forever be grateful. But after taking some space to myself and getting clear on my needs for the first time in my life, I’ve realized that it’s time for us to break up. Look – it’s not you – it’s me. And I know you know I would say that. And it’s such a cliché thing to say. But the truth is, I am sick of feeling like I need you. I’m sick of always being tired in the afternoon and then craving you at night. And honestly I’m sick of my waistline and how you like to expand it. When we first got together, you told me that fat would make me fat, but I realized that was just your manipulation to keep me around. And I fell for it. I thought for the longest time that life would cease to exist without you. I made you my Higher Power and you told me that if I obeyed your cravings that everything would be okay. But that only lead down a darker and darker path. The more I abandoned myself to make you happy; the worse my life got. It wasn’t until I hit a rock bottom and saw the truth of what you really are that I decided to do something about it. You are not a friend to me. The truth is, your promise of being my best friend is a lie. Best friends don’t hijack my brain, so it’s almost impossible to make up my own mind about what I want to eat. Best friends don’t cause me to get sick, tired and deplete my body of its important life force. Best friends don’t complain when it’s time to move on and make it almost impossible to live without them. Best friends want me to be healthy, alive, full of life and able to make my own decisions. That’s why it’s come to this letter. I’m saying goodbye. And, yes, I had to write this letter to you because I couldn’t do it in person. Just being around you makes me want to come back for more. You might feel like you deserve to have this conversation with me in person, given our over three decade relationship and – under normal circumstances, you would be right. But – I’m not strong enough, so I’m sending you this letter instead. Maybe one day when I’m a little stronger, a littler wiser and have found someone new to fall in love with, then I can meet you face to face. Sugar, I still do love you, but I love myself more. And so I’m choosing me. Know that you will always have a special place in my heart and that I will think of your often (probably more often than I would like, because you really are that yummy). I wish you nothing but the best in this life, and I hope you wish the same for me. I’m sending you all my love from a distance… Your pal, Lisa Ekanger
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 8:47 AM
Monday, December 15, 2014
Don’t Settle Don’t settle because you’re afraid you won’t find something better. Don’t compromise because you don’t want to be alone. Give your perfect life, lover and job, time and space to grow into your life. Don’t rush, don’t hurry. Take your time, be easy, have patience. Allow everything to come to you with your subtle guiding and intending. Your days of constant chasing with little reward are over. Everything you’ve ever wanted and more are coming to you, you just have to let it in with love, receptivity and non-judgment. Letting it in is how you become it. Lisa Ekanger Your Hometown Realtor!
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 9:13 PM
Faith This is when the magic happens: right when you feel like everything is going wrong, shift your attitude to accept that it’s actually going right. Our judgments of how we think our life should be are preventing us from reaching our highest potential. If you’re going through a storm, hold the belief that it’s the perfect storm for you to be going through and that you’ve been given everything you need to weather the storm. When the chaos subsides you will experience the truth that is forever true; you are always taken care of, exactly where you need to be and your efforts are rewarded exactly when they need to be. Remember this truth the next time a storm is on the horizon and you will grow wings and be able to fly right over it and towards the calm waters of trust and universal love. Lisa Ekanger Your Hometown Realtor!
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 9:09 PM
Lighten up and take a chance, let go, say what’s on your mind and shake things up. It’s okay to ruffle some feathers, and if you get a negative reaction out of someone it’s only exposing their own opportunities to grow. Get messy for a change. ∞ Don’t play small. Stand up. Take charge. You are doing yourself and others a disservice by catering your actions towards how you think others will react. Instead, just be yourself, exactly as you are. When you are simply being yourself you will attract everything that is in alignment with who you truly are. You will be shocked to see who drops away. Their absence will leave a space for new and amazing relationships to enter your life. Just be you, and let everyone else do what they may. You are not what others believe you to be, you are what you know you are and nothing else. Just be. You will be rewarded for your courage with a life that reflects your true essence instead of an invented identity created to please others. Ahhhh, doesn’t it feel good to just be? Lisa Ekanger Your Hometown Realtor!
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 9:05 PM
Monday, December 8, 2014
Do not worry about how you will make it all work. Just focus on how you feel and go towards those things that bring forth joy. When you are living in your joy, the universe is living joyfully through you. When you are living a life of fear, the universe is dying and becoming smaller. Remember you are a child of the universe and everything the universe provides is abundant. The sun shines rays of joy, the bird sings a song of joy, the tree joyfully grows to provide shade and keep the air clean. Everything has a purpose and when we are living in our joyful purpose we will be supported because the universe loves joy. It takes a little bit of time to go from fear to joy, but if you stay steady and keep the course you will at last come to see that your joy can be your reality. Trust in promise of joy, it is your birthright. Lisa Ekanger
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 6:48 PM
I Make salespeople’s lives better. That’s my passion. Helping you get the most from your career, your life, your relationships — that’s what I do — and what we’ve done for hundreds of thousands of sales professionals for more than forty years. And by making lives better we mean…more balance, less stress. More income, more security. Better customer relationships, more referrals. Stronger ties to your community, a resource people turn to. I’ve been eating, drinking and sleeping sales for what seems like all my life, and I can tell you to go from good to great, from better to best and from “all work and no play” to a balanced and healthy life starts by getting back to the basics — and into the habit of lifelong learning. My programs change lives by giving you the strong skills, tools, techniques, dialogues and mindsets you need to achieve everything you’ve ever imagined — and even a little more. ~Floyd Wickman www.floydwickman.com Lisa Ekanger
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 6:43 PM
Sunday, December 7, 2014
“Do not try to change someone, when you do this you deny the Love inside you by choosing to deny what is Now. Love can only exist now, when you try to change someone into an idea of what you want them to be you have decided to be in a relationship with your projection of a possible potential of someone else. You are fooling yourself if you think trying to change someone will make you happy. Instead, change in yourself the things you think the other person should change. This is why you are not happy and fulfilled now.” “If today was it, would you die knowing you did your best? If tomorrow never came, would you be proud of the last thing you said to each person you love? If someday was only now, would you do everything you’ve always put off? If you knew you had a choice about what kind of life you could be living, would you choose different? If you knew failure is impossible, what would you do? If it were true that everyone you meet is you in another body, how would you treat them? If love was the true currency of the Universe and the more you gave away the more you received, how would you spend it? If fear were the biggest illusion and the greatest lie of all time, how would you choose to live your life? If the Universe always supported a life lived towards achieving dreams, how big would you dream?” “I prayed for change, so I changed my mind. I prayed for guidance and learned to trust myself. I prayed for happiness and realized I am not my ego. I prayed for peace and learned to accept others unconditionally. I prayed for abundance and realized my doubt kept it out. I prayed for wealth and realized it is my health. I prayed for a miracle and realized I am the miracle. I prayed for a soul mate and realized I am the one. I prayed for love and realized it’s always knocking, but I have to allow it in.” Lisa Ekanger for Jackson Kiddard
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 10:35 AM
Patience child, patience. Remember, life is a journey. If you got everything you wanted all at once there'd be no point to living. Enjoy the ride, and in the end you'll see these "setbacks" as giant leaps forward, only you couldn't see the bigger picture in the moment. Remain calm, all is within reach; all you have to do is show up every day, stay true to your path and you will surely find the treasure you seek. -J Kiddard
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 10:28 AM
Saturday, December 6, 2014
Friday, December 5, 2014
Many times I've been accused of living in La La Land. I used to be defensive about it, but now I own it. I've come to the realization that just because I have an innate ability to live exactly in this moment...to seek the connections that charge my billion cells...to exchange positive energy and feel amazingly alive, doesn't mean I'm not grounded. It doesn't mean I'm not authentic and now I really understand that it's about others inability to see what I see, not about my ability to stay in their reality. Lisa Ekanger Your Hometown Realtor!
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 7:59 PM
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
If your Nerve, deny you— Go above your Nerve— He can lean against the Grave, If he fear to swerve— That's a steady posture— Never any bend Held of those Brass arms— Best Giant made— If your Soul seesaw— Lift the Flesh door— The Poltroon wants Oxygen— Nothing more— Emily Dickenson Lisa Ekanger Your Hometown Realtor!
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 6:03 AM
Sunday, November 30, 2014
No matter where "there" is. No matter what you want. No matter what you need. No matter where you've been. No matter where you're headed. No matter when you ask. No matter how you ask. No matter who's there with you. No matter who else you're thinking of. No matter what, no matter what, no matter what. Please, believe me, The Universe Lisa Ekanger
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 8:45 AM
Friday, November 21, 2014
“You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves. Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. Meanwhile the world goes on. Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes, over the prairies and the deep trees, the mountains and the rivers. Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading home again. Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting – over and over announcing your place in the family of things.” ― Mary Oliver Lisa Ekanger
Sunday, November 16, 2014
Saturday, November 15, 2014
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
Monday, November 3, 2014
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
1. They update their to-do lists. Successful professionals always keep an eye on their ever-changing to-do lists, Taylor explains. "But the last 10 minutes is when they also check their final progress against that day's objectives," she says. "They revise their final list accordingly while in the moment, rather than abruptly leave and hoping they'll remember all the nuances of that day in the morning." 2. They organize their desk and desktop. Your projects take much longer to complete when you're not organized. "Having an orderly desktop and desk will help you think more clearly and prioritize more effectively. It'll also help you quickly find important documents when you need them," says Taylor. "File digital and hard copy documents for easier access and greater efficiency when you need them next." 3. They review what they achieved. Taylor says in addition to focusing on what you still need to do, it's important to look back on what you've done. Kerr agrees. "Taking even one minute to review what you achieved can give you a sense of accomplishment, and on a particularly trying and busy day it can remind you that you got more done than you realized," he says. "Happiness research tells us that doing a simple routine like this, and taking the time to reflect on what you accomplished, is a key way to boost your overall level of happiness." 4. They take a moment to reflect on the day. Successful people not only think about the projects they've handled that day; they try to analyze when and why things went right and wrong. "Savvy professionals know that if they're not learning, they're not growing," says Taylor. 5. They vet 'urgent' communications. You're down to the wire on your day, but the communications keep flowing; some urgent and some not — but all at the last minute. "This is when your time management skills are put to the test," says Taylor. "Successful people are able to decide what requires a response and what can wait." You want to defer long conversations that are sensitive until you and your colleague are at your best: in the morning. "Consider a response that suggests the discussion be held at a specific time the next day," she says. "Otherwise, the matter could last well into the evening when your mutual energy is low and you feel rushed. This deferral also gives you overnight to step back and think through your immediate reaction." 6. They stay focused. "This is a classic time when your mind can drift," Taylor explains. "Typically, you're not as sharp at the end of the day." Try not to allow yourself to get distracted or caught up in non-work related activities at the very end of the day. 7. They determine their primary goals for tomorrow. Successful people have a list of items ready for the morning, and they identify their primary objectives for the following day. "You may have two or three of them that are top of mind, but commit them to writing so you have a core foundation to work from the next morning," says Taylor. "The more you can get everything down on paper that is swirling through your mind, the more likely it is you'll be able to focus on the rest of your life with a clear head and be prepared and ready to go the following day," adds Kerr. 8. They let colleagues know how accessible they'll be between now and the morning. The most successful people take a minute to determine how accessible they can and need to be between now and the following day, and then they communicate that to whoever needs to know. "Are you going 'completely dark' with absolutely no contact with your office via text, email, or phone? Or are certain exceptions being made?" Kerr asks. "This will change day to day, and there's not necessarily one right answer. The most important question to ask yourself is, 'What mix of contact/accessibility will allow me the greatest peace of mind during my off hours?'" 9. They review their schedule for the next morning. There's no worse way to start your day than arriving at the office and learning you have a big meeting in five minutes. "Successful people know to review their schedule and plan for the following day — and most importantly, visualize how the day will unfold," Kerr says. This will allow you to go into the next workday feeling better prepared, more confident, and less stressed. 10. They say thank you to someone. Great workplaces are built on a foundation of gratitude and recognition. "Creating a habit around thanking someone at the end of your workday is an incredibly effective way to boost your own happiness level and allow yourself and others to leave on a high note," says Kerr. 11. They say their goodbyes. A friendly "goodnight" is highly underestimated and requires very little effort. "It reminds your boss and team that you are a human being, not just a colleague," Taylor says. It also gives your coworkers a heads up that you're leaving for the day. 12. They leave on a positive note. Before you head out, give yourself a psychological boost by smiling, Taylor recommends. "It will prepare you to exude a more upbeat vibe as you check out with your coworkers." Successful leaders leave a good impression at the day's end, as that's the demeanor that sticks until the next morning. 13. They actually leave. Successful people avoid the temptation to linger. They know how important work-life balance is, so they try to leave the office at a decent hour. "Staying around for no good reason will limit your level of energy and success when you need it tomorrow," Taylor explains. Lisa Ekanger
Sunday, October 26, 2014
The Journey One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began, though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice-- though the whole house began to tremble and you felt the old tug at your ankles. "Mend my life!" each voice cried. But you didn't stop. You knew what you had to do, though the wind pried with its stiff fingers at the very foundations, though their melancholy was terrible. It was already late enough, and a wild night, and the road full of fallen branches and stones. But little by little, as you left their voices behind, the stars began to burn through the sheets of clouds, and there was a new voice which you slowly recognized as your own, that kept you company as you strode deeper and deeper into the world, determined to do the only thing you could do-- determined to save the only life you could save. Lisa Ekanger Your Hometown Realtor!
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 7:51 PM
Friday, October 24, 2014
What if today was your "last" day, Lisa, or this week was your "last" week, and heaven had 10,000 angels waiting to serenade you, dancers waiting to dance with you, and reporters waiting to interview you? Is there a grudge you'd still hold? Something you'd still regret? An unhappy memory that would matter more than forever and ever? Nada, baby - The Universe Lisa Ekanger
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 6:28 AM
Monday, October 20, 2014
It's odd how people like to be told what they already know, as if being told makes it more real. This is why the number-one thing the dead want to tell you is that no one dies. Not ever. Not anyone. Including you. You're going to live forever, gallivanting throughout realities and dimensions unimaginable, carried onward by love, all misdeeds forgiven, infinite possibilities on deck, surrounded by friends and laughter, unicorns mermaids and rainbows, celebrated as the goddess you are. But you knew that, The Universe Lisa Ekanger
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
At first glance this column heading seems to be contradictory, but it is absolutely true that the person who won't take a chance hasn't got a chance. For example, when you invest in the stock market, you are taking a chance. There is risk involved. But, historically speaking, if you invest sensibly and go for the long haul, your returns will be consistent and appreciably larger than you would receive from an interest-only deposit. Homeowners take a chance when they rent their home because most tenants will not take care of the home as conscientiously as the owner of the home. However, any real estate agent will tell you that it is a far greater risk to leave the home empty because it deteriorates much faster empty than it will when it is occupied. After all, homes are built to be lived in. The ship which leaves harbor runs certain risks because of currents, possible storms, or potential collision with other ships - all of which can create real hazards. However, the ship is at greater risk if it is simply idle at anchor. It will collect barnacles faster and become unseaworthy faster in the safety of the harbor than it will while sailing the high seas. And, after all, that's why ships are built. The farmer takes a huge risk when he plows the soil, plants and fertilizes the seed, and puts insecticide on the plants or trees to protect them from insects. He puts his sweat and time in the project and is at the mercy of the weather until the crop is harvested. It's risky, all right, but if he didn't take that risk, the land would provide little, if any, return, his family would suffer, and you and I would go without many of the things we take for granted. In life we undergo certain risks and if we simply play everything safe, we do not have a chance. So, take a chance and I'll SEE YOU AT THE TOP! Lisa Ekanger
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 5:09 PM
Monday, October 13, 2014
“Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields…Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness.” ~ Mary Oliver “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” ~ Mary Oliver “Love yourself. Then forget it. Then, love the world.” ~ Mary Oliver “Said the river: imagine everything you can imagine, then keep on going.” ~ Mary Oliver “The most regretful people on earth are those who felt the call to creative work, who felt their own creative power restive and uprising, and gave to it neither power nor time.” ~ Mary Oliver “Ten times a day something happens to me like this – some strengthening throb of amazement – some good sweet empathic ping and swell. This is the first, the wildest and the wisest thing I know: that the soul exists and is built entirely out of attentiveness.” ~ Mary Oliver “Still, what I want in my life is to be willing to be dazzled—to cast aside the weight of facts and maybe even to float a little above this difficult world.” ~ Mary Oliver “Sometimes I need only to stand wherever I am to be blessed.” ~ Mary Oliver “I read the way a person might swim, to save his or her life. I wrote that way too.” ~ Mary Oliver “And now I understand something so frightening & wonderful-how the mind clings to the road it knows, rushing through crossroads, sticking like lint to the familiar.” ~ Mary Oliver “I tell you this to break your heart, by which I mean only that it break open and never close again to the rest of the world.” ~ Mary Oliver “But I also say this: that light is an invitation to happiness, and that happiness, when it's done right, is a kind of holiness, palpable and redemptive. ” ~ Mary Oliver “Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.” ~ Mary Oliver “it is a serious thing // just to be alive / on this fresh morning / in this broken world.” ~ Mary Oliver “Do you love this world? Do you cherish your humble and silky life? Do you adore the green grass, with its terror beneath?” ~ Mary Oliver “I believe in kindness. Also in mischief.” ~ Mary Oliver “And to tell the truth I don't want to let go of the wrists of idleness, I don't want to sell my life for money, I don't even want to come in out of the rain.” ~ Mary Oliver “So come to the pond, or the river of your imagination, or the harbor of your longing, and put your lips to the world. And live your life.” ~ Mary Oliver “I want to think again of dangerous and noble things. I want to be light and frolicsome. I want to be improbable beautiful and afraid of nothing, as though I had wings.” ~ Mary Oliver “Every day I see or hear something that more or less kills me with delight, that leaves me like a needle in the haystack of light.” ~ Mary Oliver “I held my breath as we do sometimes to stop time when something wonderful has touched us…” ~ Mary Oliver “maybe death isn't darkness, after all, but so much light wrapping itself around us–” ~ Mary Oliver “And that is just the point… how the world, moist and beautiful, calls to each of us to make a new and serious response. That's the big question, the one the world throws at you every morning. "Here you are, alive. Would you like to make a comment?” ~ Mary Oliver “You must not ever stop being whimsical. And you must not, ever, give anyone else the responsibility for your life.” ~ Mary Oliver “Keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable.” ~ Mary Oliver “As long as you're dancing, you can break the rules. Sometimes breaking the rules is just extending the rules. Sometimes there are no rules.” ~ Mary Oliver - Lisa Ekanger!
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 6:39 AM
“Ten times a day something happens to me like this – some strengthening throb of amazement – some good sweet empathic ping and swell. This is the first, the wildest and the wisest thing I know: that the soul exists and is built entirely out of attentiveness.” ~ Mary Oliver Lisa Ekanger
Saturday, October 11, 2014
Personal branding through social media may help you build your professional network, but there will never be a replacement for a charismatic personality. Napoleon Hill, author of "Think and Grow Rich" — one of the top-selling books of all time — wrote about the habits of the most likable people in his essay "Develop A Pleasing Personality," published in the forthcoming collection "The Science of Success." He introduced his steps to having a "million-dollar personality" by explaining it was steel magnate Charles M. Schwab's charming demeanor that in the late 19th century elevated him from day laborer to an executive with a $75,000 salary and a frequent million-dollar bonus (astronomical numbers for the time). Schwab's boss, the legendary industrialist Andrew Carnegie said "the yearly salary was for the work Schwab performed, but the bonus was for what Schwab, with his pleasing personality, could get others to do," Hill writes. Here are Hill's 14 habits of people who are so likable that others go out of their way to help them: 1. They develop a positive mental attitude and let it be seen and felt by others. It's often easier to give into cynicism, but those who choose to be positive set themselves up for success and have better reputations. 2. They always speak in a carefully disciplined, friendly tone. The best communicators speak deliberately and confidently, which gives their voice a pleasing sound. 3. They pay close attention to someone speaking to them. Using a conversation as an opportunity to lecture someone "may feed the ego, but it never attracts people or makes friends," Hill says. 4. They are able to maintain their composure in all circumstances. An overreaction to something either positive or negative can give people a poor impression. In the latter case, says Hill, "Remember that silence may be much more effective than your angry words." 5. They are patient. "Remember that proper timing of your words and acts may give you a big advantage over impatient people," Hill writes. 6. They keep an open mind. Those who close themselves off from certain ideas and associate only with like-minded people are missing out on not only personal growth but also opportunities for advancing their careers. 7. They smile when speaking with others. Hill says that president Franklin D. Roosevelt's greatest asset was his "million-dollar smile," which allowed people to lower their guards during conversation. 8. They know that not all their thoughts need to be expressed. The most likable people know that it's not worth offending people by expressing all their thoughts, even if they happen to be true. 9. They don't procrastinate. Procrastination communicates to people that you're afraid of taking action, Hill says, and are therefore ineffective. 10. They engage in at least one good deed a day. The best networkers help other people out without expecting anything in return. 11. They find a lesson in failure rather than brood over it. People admire those who grow from failure rather than wallow in it. "Express your gratitude for having gained a measure of wisdom, which would not have come without defeat," Hill says. 12. They act as if the person they are speaking to is the most important person in the world. The most likable people use conversations as an opportunity to learn about another person and give them time to talk. 13. They praise others in a genuine way without being excessive. "Praise the good traits of others, but don't rub it on where it is not deserved or spread it too thickly," Hill says. 14. They have someone they trust point out their flaws. Successful people don't pretend to be likable; they are likable because they care about their conduct and reputation. Having a confidant who can be completely honest with them allows them to continue growing. Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/habits-of-exceptionally-likable-people-2014-5#ixzz3Fqi7ZWHe Lisa Ekanger Your Preferred Trainer!
Thursday, October 9, 2014
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Dear Sojourners! I'm sorry...I apologize in advance for sounding off on politics. This blog is designed to be uplifting but lately I've been so irritated with the news of the American and/or Canadian ISIS terrorist, I just have to speak my mind. I promise this will be short. And really, it's a question for the westerners who decide to defect and join up with terrorists. Here goes: Please tell me how it makes sense that you leave a free country (North America) where people have fought and died for your freedom, died so you could have a voice and rights and opportunity ....to then [have you] go to a foreign land and fight for a cause which stems from living under governments that refuse to give their people equal freedom, a voice, equal rights and opportunity? OMG!?! All wars can be traced back to these things: ~ people that feel they have no power ~ people feel they have no voice ~ people feel they have no personal freedom(s) ~ people feel they have no future In other words: people feel disenfranchised! The whole of the religious dogma that these terror groups are espousing is just one big distraction designed by the weak minded to keep the masses of people oppressed just enough to be controlled. The fight isn't about any set of beliefs. The fighting is for power of money, land, resources and people. Its always been that way and it is universal around the world. The only difference is whether or not people have access to human liberties and freedoms, that's it. So, again, I ask you: when you are already the beneficiary of this democratic revolution, why would you leave it? Instead, why not use your freedom of speech, your talents and unique perspective to help the oppressed in ways that might actually benefit all? Just wondering? PS Because you cant really believe that hiding behind a black mask with slits for eyes and killing innocent people is really a noble and respectable way to fight for justice? #seriously? Lisa
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 9:32 AM
Monday, October 6, 2014
Happy Birrrrthday to Youuuu, Happy Birrrrthday to Youuuu, Happy Birrrrthday Dear Lisa, Happy Birrrrthday to Youuuu! A few years back, not so long ago, heaven and earth erupted into a major celebration with the news of your impending adventure into this very time and space. You see, someone like Lisa Ekanger doesn't come along all that often. In fact, there's never been a single one like you, nor is there ever ANY possibility that another will come again. You're an Angel among us. Someone, whose eyes see what no others will EVER see, whose ears hear what no others will EVER hear, and whose perspective and feelings will NEVER, ever be duplicated. Without YOU, the Universe, and ALL THAT IS, would be sadly less than it is. Quite simply: You're the kind of person, Lisa, Who's hard to forget, A one-in-a-million To the people you've met. Your friends are as varied As the places you go, And they all want to tell you In case you don't know: That you make a big difference In the lives that you touch, By taking so little And giving so much! Lisa, you are so AWESOME! For your birthday, friends and angels from every corner of the Universe, including buddies you didn't know you had, will be with you to wish you the HAPPIEST of days and an exciting new year in time and space. You won't be alone! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Lisa! Mike Dooley Lisa Ekanger
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 6:09 AM
Friday, October 3, 2014
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
Sometimes a part of us must die before another part can come to life. Even though this is a natural and necessary part of our growth, it is often painful or, if we don’t realize what’s happening, confusing and disorienting. In fact, confusion and disorientation are often the messengers that tell us a shift is taking place within us. These shifts happen throughout the lives of all humans, as we move from infancy to childhood to adolescence and beyond. With each transition from one phase to another, we find ourselves saying good-bye to an old friend, the identity that we formed in order to move through that particular time. Sometimes we form these identities in relationships or jobs, and when we shift those areas of our life become unsettled. Usually, if we take the time to look into the changing surface of things, we will find that a shift is taking place within us. For example, we may go through one whole chapter of our lives creating a protective shell around ourselves because we need it in order to heal from some early trauma. One day, though, we may find ourselves feeling confined and restless, wanting to move outside the shelter we needed for so long; the new part of ourselves cannot be born within the confines of the shell our old self needed to survive. We may feel a strange mixture of exhilaration and sadness as we say good-bye to a part of ourselves that is dying and make way for a whole new identity to emerge in its place. We may find inspiration in working with the image of an animal who molts or sheds in order to make way for new skin, fur, or feathers to emerge. For example, keeping a duck feather, or some other symbol of transformation, can remind us that death and rebirth are simply nature’s way of evolving. We can surrender to this process, letting go of our past self with great love and gratitude, and welcoming the new with an open mind and heart, ready for our next phase of life. Lisa Ekanger
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 5:12 PM
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Monday, September 29, 2014
By Madisyn Taylor Sometimes a part of us must die before another part can come to life. Even though this is a natural and necessary part of our growth, it is often painful or, if we don’t realize what’s happening, confusing and disorienting. In fact, confusion and disorientation are often the messengers that tell us a shift is taking place within us. These shifts happen throughout the lives of all humans, as we move from infancy to childhood to adolescence and beyond. With each transition from one phase to another, we find ourselves saying good-bye to an old friend, the identity that we formed in order to move through that particular time. Sometimes we form these identities in relationships or jobs, and when we shift those areas of our life become unsettled. Usually, if we take the time to look into the changing surface of things, we will find that a shift is taking place within us. For example, we may go through one whole chapter of our lives creating a protective shell around ourselves because we need it in order to heal from some early trauma. One day, though, we may find ourselves feeling confined and restless, wanting to move outside the shelter we needed for so long; the new part of ourselves cannot be born within the confines of the shell our old self needed to survive. We may feel a strange mixture of exhilaration and sadness as we say good-bye to a part of ourselves that is dying and make way for a whole new identity to emerge in its place. We may find inspiration in working with the image of an animal who molts or sheds in order to make way for new skin, fur, or feathers to emerge. For example, keeping a duck feather, or some other symbol of transformation, can remind us that death and rebirth are simply nature’s way of evolving. We can surrender to this process, letting go of our past self with great love and gratitude, and welcoming the new with an open mind and heart, ready for our next phase of life. Lisa Ekanger Your Hometown Realtor!
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 2:19 PM
It is not necessarily a pleasant experience, but there will be times in our lives when we come across people who do not like us. As we know, like attracts like, so usually when they don’t like us it is because they are not like us. Rather than taking it personally, we can let them be who they are, accepting that each of us is allowed to have different perspectives and opinions. When we give others that freedom, we claim it for ourselves as well, releasing ourselves from the need for their approval so we can devote our energy toward more rewarding pursuits. While approval from others is a nice feeling, when we come to depend on it we may lose our way on our own path. There are those who will not like us no matter what we do, but that doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with us. Each of us has our own filters built from our experiences over time. They may see in us something that is merely a projection of their understanding, but we have no control over the interpretations of others. The best we can do is to hope that the role we play in the script of their lives is helpful to them, and follow our own inner guidance with integrity. As we reap the benefits of walking our perfect paths, we grow to appreciate the feeling of fully being ourselves. The need to have everyone like us will be replaced by the exhilaration of discovering that we are attracting like-minded individuals into our lives—people who like us because they understand and appreciate the truth of who we are. We free ourselves from trying to twist into shapes that will fit the spaces provided by others’ limited understanding and gain a new sense of freedom, allowing us to expand into becoming exactly who we’re meant to be. And in doing what we know to be right for us, we show others that they can do it too. Cocreating our lives with the universe and its energy of pure potential, we transcend limitations and empower ourselves to shine our unique light, fully and freely. Lisa Ekanger
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 4:32 AM
Sunday, September 28, 2014
We ‘choose’ or gravitate to people that reflect the things we believe about relationships, love, and ourselves.
Chemistry is one of those difficult to pinpoint, tricky to define linchpins of a relationship. As it’s so hard to put our fingers on, it’s actually the blanket explanation for why we stick with someone even when all signs around us point to ‘Danger! Abort mission!’. ‘We have such a strong chemistry’ is one of the most common things that gets said to me as does ‘I couldn’t be with someone who I didn’t have any chemistry with’. I think of chemistry as the result of how you both ‘vibrate’ together. Aspects of each of you resonate with the other and it creates what feels like a strong tie between you both – a connection. It’s a bit of a frisson between you both, a shared vibe, an air between you that feels like it generates something positive (even if overall it doesn’t), the way you ‘work’ together, the ‘tension’ that exists between you both. In looking at my own dating past where I’ve claimed to feel chemistry with a number of people, I realised a few things: Chemistry, whatever that intangible ‘quality’ that you have between you is, is necessary for a relationship but is often overvalued to the detriment of other aspects. Without it, you’ll feel something is missing, but without other fundamentals, it’s not going to work anyway. I also know that having ‘aspects’ between you both where there is chemistry can hide key signs that you are incompatible and this is because much like with common interests, we assume that someone who we share for example, sexual chemistry or even emotional chemistry with, is someone that will be a compatible partner. It’s also safe to say that often when you feel that you’re compatible, you may actually be compatible for the wrong reasons. This is why it feels ‘right’ even when it seems so ‘wrong’ and why you’re still banking on that emotionally unavailable or assclown ‘somebody’ who you had so much ‘chemistry’ with…you just couldn’t string a relationship together. Many times over the course of writing this blog and my ebooks, I’ve emphasised that we ‘choose’ or gravitate to people that reflect the things we believe about relationships, love, and ourselves. If we have negative beliefs, we inadvertently create a self-fulfilling prophecy that enables us to continue holding on to that belief. Obviously if we got involved with someone who challenged those beliefs, we’d have to adjust our thinking and our behaviours. Many of us are damn scared of challenging our beliefs plus we are also and often entirely unaware of the impact of quiet, hidden beliefs. I’ve also learned through experience that we are the only common denominator to the soap opera that is our relationships and that life continues throwing us up the same lessons through our relationships until we heed the warnings. Every experience you’ve had, you’re in it and if the same experience comes up with various different people, you have to look at lot closer to home at your own actions. That doesn’t make you responsible for their behaviour but it does put the power in your hands to change your part. In considering these things, I realised that chemistry is very reflective of where you are, at that particular point in your life, emotionally, spiritually, physically and that who you feel it with can and will change if you address and adapt any of these factors. If you for instance, break up with someone that you’ve experienced a lot of pain with but are still professing chemistry and claiming that you can’t imagine anyone else in your life but them, you may want to consider what hasn’t shifted that has you holding on so hard to the past. You’re ignoring an important part of the dynamic between you both where you are clearly incompatible and compensating for it by exaggerating the strength and importance of others. Much like how your relationships, your self-esteem and basically life in general is very reflective of your beliefs, the ‘chemistry’ you feel is a reflection. If you’ve ever had a parent who abused alcohol or drugs and have felt ‘impossibly’ drawn to someone who also abuses these, you can see how the ‘chemistry’ that you feel is intwertwined with how you feel about you, love, and relationships, and that actually, you’re experiencing the comfort of familiarity, even though it’s unhealthy. You can also see the effects of chemistry if you have a ‘type’. Generally speaking, when people have a type, it tends to be ‘toxic type’ working against them tied to unhealthy ideas about what they ‘think’ is ‘right’ for them, after all, having a type where you carry the same baggage, beliefs, and behaviours and end up with the same results is relationship insanity. If having that type has not yielded you a successful relationship as in, it worked in a healthy, positive manner, I would seriously question what your ‘type’ is and who you profess to have chemistry with as it’s not benefiting you and is likely limiting your options. Looking back, I now know that I felt chemistry with the guys I dated previously because they were similar on an emotional level – emotionally unavailable. Aside from physical attraction or any so-called sexual chemistry, the prospect of being with them was ‘fitting’ because emotionally I didn’t feel I was in any real danger of having to ‘risk’ myself. They were attractive because emotionally, even if we approached things differently, when it got down to the nuts and bolts of it, we were both afraid of genuine intimacy and feeling our emotions, good, bad, and indifferent. When I met or spoke with any of these people after we’d dated, the ‘chemistry’ was dead in the water and it was hard to imagine what we had in common. Once I realised that I too was emotionally unavailable and started demanding of myself to become available, when I met people who I would previously have been quite content to languish around in an ambiguous relationship for a time, I found myself rather non-plussed. I also don’t think it’s a coincidence that as I started taking care of myself physically, making my health a focal point, as well as my values shifting somewhat and feeling even more spiritually connected, that who I felt attracted to really shifted as well. It’s important to feel healthy emotional chemistry, mental/values chemistry, spiritual chemistry, and of course physical/sexual chemistry. The combination of all of these makes for a relationship where you are far more likely to be compatible and have the opportunity to forge a healthy relationship with prospects. While I don’t doubt the importance of sexual chemistry, if you don’t have the other sources of chemistry, you don’t have actual intimacy – you just have sex. That said, if you don’t have sexual chemistry, it may feel like a friendship. That said, if you have sexual chemistry but not much else, it may feel like a booty call/friends with benefits situation. If you’re both emotionally available and truly get to know one another to create true intimacy, not the ‘limited connection’ generated by emotional unavailability, you can find chemistry across all areas instead of cherry picking the ‘easy’ stuff. Even if you have emotional, spiritual and sexual chemistry, if you don’t share similar values, your relationship will struggle and you are very likely incompatible unless you can find a way to compromise. Of course, you shouldn’t compromise on values that are fundamental to your happiness and how you want to live…and neither should they. If you do, you’ll be compromising yourself. If you believe you have chemistry with someone and the relationship is struggling, it’s time to look at not what you think you have in common but what you don’t so you can better understand the dynamic between you both, what the possible incompatibilities are, and assess the possibilities of a solution. The more you ignore the areas where you’re not compatible or experiencing chemistry, the bigger a problem they present. Many people find themselves in deep trouble with their relationships because they ignore vital things because they think what they feel or other more favourable qualities make up for it – they don’t. Before you start pushing for a solution, particularly if you feel chemistry in an unhealthy partnering, I would seriously assess the origins of your interest in them and make sure that you’re not actually feeling chemistry with an unhealthy pattern. If you are and you already recognise that there are issues in your relationship, examine your beliefs, both the obvious and the hidden, to untangle why you think you have chemistry with them – you can download my beliefs guide Get Out of Stuck for more help. Moving forward, I would strongly caution you against seeking instant chemistry or overestimating how much chemistry you have because you feel it so strongly in one area. Chemistry in a relationship needs the chance to grow and if you spend time getting to know the person as a whole instead of homing in on the bits that suit, you have a far better chance of forging a healthy relationship in reality. What I do know is that even though chemistry is tricky to define and intangible, the reasons why you want to be in a relationship are not. If you’re feeling chemistry but the relationship has floundered, is struggling, or they’re not reciprocating, it’s time to take off the rose tinted glasses and fur coat of denial and list the reasons why you feel so much chemistry with them and why you want to be with them so badly. This will help bring you back into reality and take them off any pedestal that you have them on. Ultimately, if you want to feel chemistry with different people, change the way you feel about you, relationships, and love. If you don’t want to feel chemistry with someone who is emotionally unavailable and/or an assclown, address your own emotional unavailability and the drug of the chemistry will wear off. If you want to feel chemistry with the same types of people…well you already know how that one goes! Quit the relationship insanity! By Natalie Lue Lisa Ekanger
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 12:24 PM
Friday, September 26, 2014
Twin souls are the last two souls to individualize. They are the last two peas from the same pod. At that final separation, they vowed to be reunited after they have completed their earthly duties, before they cross over to the spiritual realm for the ascent back to the Source. Whilst they were still fused together in the same pod, their sexual gender is androgynous and not male or female. It is only when they finally separate into individuals that they take on their basic gender of male and female. This basic gender will be with the twins throughout their repeated sojourns on earth until they meet again to merge. Once they merged they revert back to be androgynous. Whilst they are alone, whether they are on earth or in spirit, although they are either basically male or female, both contain the yang and yin elements. We have many soul mates, but each of us has only one twin soul. A twin soul has every ingredient to be a whole individual. He is not a soul cut into half. However, as he has shared the same pod for the entire journey downward towards the physical earth with his twin, that attachment and longing for the twin is always there in the subliminal consciousness. The incessant throbbing of desire for the other twin is never far beneath the subconscious. It becomes more and more cogent when the soul nears the heightened state of enlightenment. That means that as soon as we become humans we have been working and practicing to achieve the ideal state to merge with our twin. As twin souls are so alike to start with, they must make the rounds to develop and learn other things so that when they merge the fused twin souls will be much richer. After the fusion, the entity will not be twosome but threesome. We prepare by growing spiritually, so that we become whole and independent. We have to increase our positive vibrations by eradicating greed, lust and anger. From our normal selfishness we repeatedly convert it to selflessness. The greatest task is to humble ourselves, otherwise pride would blind us to our twin. Then comes a stage of divine discontent, which can be obliterated by forgiveness. Forgive oneself first and then forgive the others. Then learn to love oneself and then others. In the life before the one in which we would be meeting our twins we should be well developed spiritually. Our mission is known, and we would be pursuing our life plan with determination and joy. There would be self-discipline. One twin could be running parallel jobs without realizing the presence of the other. And yet, one twin is helping the other through energy interchange. This process is not recognized by both. The best way to increase our spiritual status is to go inwards. Twin souls have the same vibrations. They come from the same mould, although not from the same womb. They are like one person bisected into two, but not one soul divided into two. Therefore, even after millions of years of separation, when they meet they know instinctively that this is the twin. Their vision, feeling and purpose are one. They see the same vision from the same spot, unlike two other people with two different sets of eyes, which see the same scene juxtaposed with one another. The twin souls see the same scene with their combined third eye. The scene arouses the same feeling in both, although both are of different personalities. In fact what they see may even be complimentary. This must be the case, as they are now brought together for a single purpose. The feeling for each other is nothing less than divines love. The unconditionally of their love equals loving your neighbour as thyself or loving the other as yourself. One does not love the other despite the other’s faults; one loves the other for the other’s faults as much as for the other’s virtues. The love of twin souls is an ideal to be copied by all. The harmony and care do not allow of envy, irritation or exasperation for the other. Pain and suffering are not allowed to emerge from either party. If there is any infliction of pain it is due to an error of omission or lack of awareness. There is absolutely no intention to hurt. Every meeting will be memorable and electric. According to Sufi teachings, twin souls are like two Roman rings interlocking with each other. They may come very close when they enter a relationship, which means the two rings almost superimpose. But when they separate for any reason, the rings try to break away, but it is not possible. They remain inter-linked throughout their sojourns on earth and during intermissions in spirit. There is always a varying amount of common space between the two rings. During any twin-soul encounter, it is bound to be hypnotically momentous. A special feeling of energy seems to pass from one to the another beyond their control. This passage of energy is both nice and exciting. This is twin soul recognizing one another without involving the intellect. These twin souls encounter the same feeling and the same quality of love and it means the end of their loneliness. Their common goal is generally to uplift and enhance the quality of humanity. Even if they do not work in the same place, having the same vision their work could become complimentary, since they have the same preferences, tastes and predilection. Their mental capacity is of the same order. Their tastes in food, music and sense of humour are all the same. Both will either like the mountains or the sea. Their handwriting and the lines on their palms are similar. At this stage of development, they both possess a polished sense of humour and are good-natured. One could go on ad nauseam. You have to meet a couple of twin souls yourself to see how much in unison they behave. Sometimes twin souls appear to be doing the same thing at the same time, e.g. writing letters to one another at the same time. Then when they meet the charged electricity and explosion would indicate in no uncertain terms that ‘this is it’. When they do meet, the age difference is of no consequence to them. The disparity could be as much as fifty years, but it is totally of no importance to the twins. They do not try to change each other for both accept each other as they are. Both are usually in the same state of health: both are either healthy or both are in the same state of incapacity. Both normally have strong telepathic linkages, and if one is sad so is the other. Conversely, happiness in one very often infects the other even though they may be thousands of miles apart and at each meeting the twosome will emit a light much brighter than the sum of two. When they do meet, physical sex will not be the end all and be all of all pleasures. Of course, they still enjoy sexual pleasure, but it is no more the ultimate. It is love between two bodies as well as two souls. At this present age very few twins are already consummating their union in spirit. Physically they do not have to be together. They may be thousands of miles apart, but their spirits meet and conjoin. The joy and pleasure is much more satisfying than physical lovemaking. This is the opinion of all those who have experienced it. The obstacles within the individual should mostly be solved by the time of the meeting. However, there may be few external obstacles that present themselves. One or both twins could have already been married when they meet. The eternal triangle is usually dealt by the almost enlightened individuals with accommodation to the existing families. If one were to hear that someone has walked out on the family to be with his or her twin soul, one can rest assured that it is not really a twin soul union. The already committed twin is too responsible and would continue to honour the pre-existing marriage. The twins will know that there must be a very good reason for this inconvenience. It could be a test or because of unresolved karmic obligations. The twins would then remain as loving friends or colleagues without marriage disruptions. This is due to fact that they are no more powered by passionate physical sex, as their love and connection is above that. They may meet at night in spirit for the purpose of uplifting a common cause. They may meet in the mental world. They know that their separation is temporary and nothing in the world can stop their final union. Of course very occasionally their meeting could precipitate a marriage breakup, but this is with a marriage that is already collapsing. The breakup may induce some benefit to the aggrieved members, who can start anew with their own new partners. With this in mind, the twins who do unite do cultivate fidelity, joy, love and trust, and their union would be as solid as a rock. Everyone on earth has been drawing closer and closer to his or her twin soul, whether they know it or not, whether they want it or not. The journey of this search started the minute we individualize eons ago. In the earlier stages, we were ignorant of this treasure hunt. We just obeyed our instincts and desires. There appears to be some degree of urgency in this search for our souls at middle age, just because we are nearing the end of our search. When are we going to meet our twin? It is not for us to know. It can be tomorrow or even the next life. As in the mystic path, when one finds oneself in the ‘dark night of the soul’, one knows that the time is nigh. At this stage of our search, the loneliness is intense. This darkness of sadness, suffering and pain has no end in sight. However, lo and behold one’s twin suddenly turns up at the next corner! She could be the nurse, doctor or the social worker. Or the twin may be at the church gathering that you started to attend. One never knows, but the twin will certainly appear. If it is not in this life, then it will be the next life at the latest. So do not despair. The twin will definitely turn up. You have no choice in this matter. Lisa Ekanger
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 7:15 AM
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
When you were born you were totally aware that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. And then you got older. And things happened. And you started to forget the Truth. You started moving out of the awareness of love and into fear, doubt, and judgment. The answer: “ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!” is the answer to that question. I unequivocally assure you that there is nothing wrong with you. Even if you feel stuck. Even if you cannot figure out what you want to do with your life or hate your job. Even if you snapped at your spouse or child this morning. Even if you are ten pounds heavier than you want. Even if you are single and long for a partner. Even if you had a terrible childhood. Even if you have debt. Even if you have been labeled with a diagnosis. There is not a single reason in the entire universe that anything could possibly be wrong with you so please STOP LOOKING! — Christine Hassler Lisa Ekanger
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 6:02 AM
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
I interrupt people I have buck teeth A cross bite A lisp I stutter I have rough hands I dont share my chocolate I talk too loud I talk too much I laugh too loud and at wrong times Im not good at saving money I have a lot of nervous energy Sometimes I have nightmares I have a hard time focusing I dont like to exercise Im not in a good mood if I stay up too late Im not in a good mood if I have to get up too early. Im terrible at math Im a poor listener I get bored easily I get bored with other people easily Ive got dry skin...and now im getting wrinkles too I dont care what other people think Im not all that interested in food I expect people to love me...just because! I struggle caring about sports like football etc... Im pushy I keep pushing until youre mine or you put a stop to it. I fight with convention and authority I wear too much makeup I dont always take my makeup off before bed I like being the center of attention I dont like yard work...housework...lol! These are most of my flaws! #justsayin! Lisa Ekanger
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 4:31 PM
Seth Godin's Blog on marketing, tribes and respect What "no" means •I'm too busy •I don't trust you •This isn't on my list •My boss won't let me •I'm afraid of moving this forward •I'm not the person you think I am •I don't have the resources you think I do •I'm not the kind of person that does things like this •I don't want to open the door to a long-term engagement •Thinking about this will cause me to think about other things I just don't want to deal with What it doesn't mean: •I see the world the way you do, I've carefully considered every element of this proposal and understand it as well as you do and I hate it and I hate you. Lisa Ekanger
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 6:22 AM
Monday, September 22, 2014
Just for today, I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime. Just for today, I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that "most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be." Just for today, I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. Just for today, I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my "luck" as it comes, and fit myself to it. Just for today, I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out. I will do at least two things I don't want to--just for discipline I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it. Just for today, I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticize not one bit, not find fault with anything and not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself. Just for today, I will have a schedule. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision. Just for today, I will have a quiet half hour all by myself, and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life. Just for today, I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me. Lisa Ekanger
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 8:28 AM
Let karma have its way with those who look to harm you...we don't have any power to change their destinies anyway....the law of attraction works both ways...they don't attract good things if they send bad intentions. ..they create their own future with their intentions. This is a universal law friend! So stay strong and keep working on being the best you...keep the progress moving ...you are amazing and keep getting better my friend! Be so great that nothing negative anyone says or does will ever impact your heart again! #truestory Your Friend, Lisa Ekanger
Friday, September 19, 2014
Friday, September 12, 2014
"When we’re living as amateurs, we’re running away from our calling—meaning our work, our destiny, the obligation to become our truest and highest selves." "Turning pro changes how people perceive us.
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 4:39 AM
Thursday, September 11, 2014
In honor of all who lost their lives 13 years ago...and more, for all of those who live and remember them with the daily pain of loss and emptiness: What is an American? "An American is English, or French, or Italian, Irish, German, Norwegian, Spanish, Polish, Russian or Greek. An American may also be Canadian, Mexican, African, Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Australian, Iranian, Asian, or Arab, or Pakistani or Afghan. An American may also be a Comanche, Cherokee, Osage, Blackfoot Navaho, Apache, Seminole or one of the many other tribes known as Native Americans. An American is Christian, or he could be Jewish, or Buddhist, or Muslim. In fact, there are more Muslims in America than in Afghanistan. The only difference is that in America they are free to worship as they wish. An American is also free to believe in no religion. An American will answer only to God, not to the government, or to armed thugs claiming to speak for the government and for God. An American lives in the most prosperous land in the history of the world. The root of that prosperity can be found in the Declaration of Independence, which recognizes the God given right of each person to the pursuit of happiness. An American is generous. Americans have helped out just about every other nation in the world in their time of need, never asking a thing in return. When Afghanistan was over-run by the Soviet army 20 years ago, Americans came with arms and supplies to enable the people to win back their country. As of the morning of September 11, Americans had given more than any other nation to the poor in Afghanistan. Americans welcome the best of everything...the best products, the best books, the best music, the best food, the best services. But they also welcome the least. The national symbol of America, The Statue of Liberty, welcomes your tired and your poor, the wretched refuse of your teeming shores, the homeless, tempest tossed. These are the people who built America. Some of them were working in the Twin Towers the morning of September 11, 2001 earning a better life for their families. It's been told that the World Trade Center victims were from at least 30 different countries, cultures, and first languages, including those that aided and abetted the terrorists. So you can try to kill an American if you must. Hitler did. So did General Too, and Stalin, and Mao Testing, and other blood-thirsty tyrants in the world. But, in doing so you would just be killing yourself. Because Americans are not a particular people from a particular place. They are the embodiment of the human spirit of freedom. Everyone who holds to that spirit, everywhere, is an American. Pass this around the World? Then pass it around again. It says it all, for all of us.
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Monday, September 8, 2014
When Nin became too familiar with herself or anyone else, she dismantled her deepest convictions and reassessed them. Obeying a compulsion to explore personal identity as a means of understanding human nature, Nin repeatedly breaks her mirror and pieces it back together. The result is a glittering, fractured mask of self and other. Here are five of Nin’s most luminous reflections. 1. “The truly faithless one is the one who makes love to only a fraction of you. And denies the rest.” Nin was a bit of an Ethical Slut, which is to say, she had a moral approach to intimate relationships that eschewed the conventional regard for monogamy. Cheating, by Nin's standard, is not defined by having more than one lover, but by a lover’s failure to embrace their partner wholly and fully. This implies that one should love their partner(s) not in spite of physical or psychological imperfections, but including or even because of them. 2. “Pain is something to master, not to wallow in.” Nin was prone to emotional anguish that sometimes manifested itself physically, and though she was drawn to the opiate-craving June Miller and other dabblers, she was suspicious of drug addicts and their avoidant behavior. She believed in confronting all feelings, positive or negative, and struggled to come to terms with the discomforts of her hypersensitive constitution. 3. “The only abnormality is the incapacity to love.” When we allow ourselves to be tyrannized by notions of normalcy, our best interests can become alien to us. Maybe, as Nin suggests, we should stop having monstrous "debates" about who should be allowed to marry or semantic disputes over the definition of family. Instead of trying to define what’s normal, we should recalibrate our connection to that which is natural: our ability to love. Otherwise, as Nin says in another entry, we’re liable to put ourselves "in bondage to the past." 4. “And the day came when the risk it took to stay tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Seeing a tarantula molt is like watching a person lying flat on their back trying to wriggle out of a pair of skinny jeans very, very slowly. Afterward, the tarantula is so vulnerable that even the smallest disturbance can seriously injure it. It’s not a comfortable process for the spider, but staying in the undersized exoskeleton isn’t an option. As Nin points out, there are moments in life when taking a risk and making a change are absolutely essential for personal growth. But even if the change is unavoidable, making it takes courage. 5. “We are going to the moon—that is not very far. Man has so much farther to go within himself.” Astrobiologists may be pursuing intelligent life elsewhere, but Nin believed in endless possibility, beauty, and variety here on earth, and she longed for others to feel the same way. As she says in the first volume of her diary, “I want to be a writer who reminds others … I want to prove that there is infinite space, infinite meaning, infinite dimension.” Lisa Ekanger
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 7:58 PM
Change can enter our lives silently and this change can be just as important as change we have worked hard for.
By Madisyn Taylor We all see things about ourselves, our relationships, and our world that we want to change. Often, this desire leads us to take action toward inner work that we need to do or toward some external goal. Sometimes, without any big announcement or momentous shift, we wake up to find that change has happened, seemingly without us. This can feel like a miracle as we suddenly see that our self-esteem really does seem to be intact, or our partner actually is helping out around the house more. We may even wonder whether all of our hard work had anything to do with it, or if it just happened by way of grace. As humans, sometimes we have relatively short attention spans, and we can easily lose track of time. We may worry about a seedling in a pot with our constant attention and watering for several weeks only to find ourselves enjoying the blooms it offers and wondering when that happened, and how we didn’t notice it. Nature, on the other hand, has infinite patience and stays with a thing all the way through its life. This doesn’t mean that our efforts play no part in the miracle of change—they do. It’s just that they are one small part of the picture that finally results in the flowering of a plant, the shifting of a relationship, the softening of our hearts. The same laws that govern the growth of plants oversee our own internal and external changes. We observe, consider, work, and wonder, tilling the soil of our lives, planting seeds, and tending them. Sometimes the hard part is knowing when to stop and let go, handing it over to the universe. Usually this happens by way of distraction or disruption, our attention being called away to other more pressing concerns. And it is often at these times, when we are not looking, in the silence of nature’s embrace, that the miracle of change happens. Lisa Ekanger
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 7:28 PM
Sunday, September 7, 2014
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
By Madisyn Taylor Keeping our energy strong and pure throughout the day is vital to somebody that is sensitive. Being a sensitive person in this world can sometimes feel very draining due to the fact that we are very receptive to the energy of the people and environment around us. Still, we want to be part of situations that involve small or large groups of people, and we would like to do it without becoming overwhelmed or exhausted. With a few simple strategies we can entertain at home and socialize in the world without running the risk of losing ourselves in someone else’s energy or giving our energy away. All this takes is a little time and practice, and the result—being part of social events without ending up depleted—is well worth the effort. The whole purpose of this self-care ritual is to help keep yourself strong energetically when you are in a situation that could potentially be draining. For example, if you are having a party, you might take some time to prepare beforehand. Just as you spend time cleaning your home and preparing food, it is essential to prepare your inner home for the event. This can be as simple as taking a mindful walk or a cleansing bath, or engaging in any other activity that gives you energy. You can even just sit alone for a set period of time, tuning in to your energy and connecting to yourself so that you are less easily carried away by the energy outside of yourself. You may employ a mantra such as “I am centered and safe in the home of myself.” You can also charge a crystal or gemstone or any piece of jewelry with protective energy and wear it or carry it with you. This can be helpful during the event when just seeing it or touching it can remind you that you are centered and safe.! Keep in mind that it is always acceptable to excuse yourself for a bathroom break or to step outside for a moment. This can give you the time and space you need to check in with yourself and correct any energetic imbalances you detect. Whether you are at home or out in the world, taking care of yourself in this way enables you to keep your energy strong, even as you open yourself to others. Lisa Ekanger
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 8:27 AM
Sunday, August 31, 2014
Wickman, CSP, CPAE, National Speakers Association Hall of Fame and founder of The Floyd Wickman Program and The Floyd Wickman Team The #1 fact of life in the real estate business today is drama. I believe today’s leaders have to resist the temptation to get caught up in it and focus on the five jobs of a sales manager: recruit, train, direct, motivate and upgrade. “Sure, Floyd, that sounds good in theory,” I hear my friends in leadership say, “but you don’t see the steady parade of agents coming into my office with transaction problems. It’s overwhelming.” Please believe me, I have a lot of empathy with you. I still teach one or two programs a year myself, and I hear it, too. Problems, problems, problems. The experts at NAR and RealTrends agree with what my clients tell me – that the majority of licensed agents are closing between 0 and 3 transactions a year. And I believe this is the source of most of the problems that occur during a transaction. Agents who regularly have at least two closings a month have the systems in place and the training and experience to handle most problems. It’s the untrained co-broke agent without the systems, experience and training that has a tendency to throw the proverbial monkey wrench into the works. Not maliciously, of course. I know, because I was one of them. My first year in real estate I had five transactions, and two fell through. I was the “untrained co-broke.” I wanted desperately for every single one of them to close. I needed them to close. But when a problem came up it felt like the world was coming to an end. In a word – ‘drama’. Once a thread of drama creeps into a transaction, these agents will march into your office, throw the deal down on your desk, and then go into a holding pattern until you fix things for them. Keep your open door policy if it’s something you have promised, but add a few guidelines to help lower the emotional temperature. I call it The Ask The Experts System. I used it to build my speaking career, and we use it in our program, in our coaching, and in our company. When someone comes to you with a problem, ask them to first clarify what their goal is. Of all the possible outcomes, what is most important to them? What is their priority? What do they want to have happen. That’s called taking responsibility for the desired end result. Remember, it’s impossible to achieve a goal you don’t have. They don’t need to go over al the details and the drama. They just need to fill in the blank. “My #1 goal is ________.” Follow that by helping them put into words what they believe is preventing them from achieving that goal. What is the biggest obstacle, problem or challenge? Again, fill in the blank. “My #1 challenge is _________.” Finally, have them ask you, “What is your one best piece of advice?” Getting people to clearly state what they want, and then state what they believe is stopping them, takes the emotion out of most situations, and focuses the discussion on solutions, not drama. You can take it a step further, and get everyone involved together, either face to face or on a conference call, and have each person Ask The Experts. You facilitate. When everyone who has a stake in getting to a closing has a chance to state their goal and their challenge, and ask for advice, you are much more likely to eliminate obstacles, problems and challenges. Best of all, it will dramatically shorten the amount of time it takes to move a shaky transaction forward, and the amount of drama in the air. I hope you enjoy these blog posts and articles enough to share them with your friends and colleagues. And, as always, if there’s ever anything I can do to help your cause, I am only just a phone call or text away. Lisa Ekanger your preferred trainer!
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 4:26 PM
Friday, August 29, 2014
I used to be like you. I used to try to keep my home perfect, my kids perfect, my life perfect. I used to be obsessed with keeping the house clean, the clothes washed, the groceries bought. I used to go to ALL of the school events and work so hard to discover ALL of the opportunities that were available to me, my kids and ALL of us as a family. For a lot of years it worked, and I felt like I was making progress...I felt as though I had accomplished something. I lived that way until I was 40 years old. Then, something happened right around my 40th birthday. I looked in the mirror and said to myself, you can never get those 40 years back. I asked myself, "Were they mostly good?" "Which ones would you repeat if you could?" I took inventory and decided that the best years of my life were spent laughing with friends and family. The best years of my life weren't because of any particular set of circumstances or where I lived, or how much money I made, or what I owned. As the years passed and I collected experiences, I also found myself falling into the expected path. The one that is accepted by our society, by our culture. Married, 2 kids, 1 boy and one girl...a house in the burbs. As the years passed and I had more money and more things, I also observed that my stress level was rising too. I observed less laughter as I reviewed those years of my life. It wasn't easy getting back to me. It was one step forward two steps back for sure. My decision to reclaim me was deliberate and very slow. Now almost 8 years later, I can say I am about 65% of the way to reclaiming me. I pushed down the obsessive thoughts reminding me to clean the house, water the plants and bath the dogs. It took several years to be able to just walk past a mess, go to bed with dishes in the sink and RELAX. I even bought a little sign that hangs prominently in my office, it says RELAX. I asked myself, what am I racing toward? Doing more and more and more for everyone around me just left me more and more and more empty and exhausted. Time for boundaries! I said goodbye to everyone. I said goodbye to my old relationships to people, and set out on a new course. Addressing them one at a time...and reminding myself ALL the way through, "YOU WILL NEVER GET THIS TIME BACK!" I said goodbye to my church, many so called friends, family, and my old marriage. The work isn't complete, as you probably guessed, the hardest changes are the ones that stare you in the face on a daily basis...which makes the marriage improvement one of the very hardest challenges to take on. You might think I've abandoned my responsibilities, you may even think I'm being selfish. I would say to you, "I simply do not care what you think." And I don't mean that in a snotty or bitchy way. I am selfish! Because if I don't take care of me, there will be no me. My positive contributions to the world will be done and I'm not ready to be done! I embarked on this self-improvement around 40, I read about meditation and free-thinking. I practiced yoga and now daily Zen. I never dreamed that by allowing them in, they would park themselves in my heart whether I liked it or not. They bathed my heart in peace and I had no choice but to practice the very thing that flooded me. I am at peace as I approach my 50th milestone. When others attempt to pull me into their drama, I just release the stress. It is not my problem. I didn't create this world. I didn't create the conditions that freak you out. I only can control me and how I react to the things that freak me out! that's ALL. I haven't signed off. I'm more plugged into my presence and my contribution then I have ever been before. My days are long and wonderful and full of life, laughter and meaning. Do I have down moments? Yes. But I don't allow them to linger for very long. I am very good at brooming them away. Instead of cleaning the outside of my world, I am now obsessed with cleaning the inside of my soul. #lifeisgood Lisa Ekanger Your Hometown Realtor!
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 8:41 AM
Thursday, August 28, 2014
- Think “If he can do it, I can do it.” Turn fear into fuel. Tune out the “I suck” thoughts by creating a new story, which you make true by doing something new. - Create space for the life you want to live and the feelings you want to feel. Even though it might mean giving up the company paycheck and the health insurance. - Change patterns. Take little actions, making those a habit, and building them into something big. Lisa Ekanger !
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 3:21 PM
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
By Madisyn Taylor Learning to accept the things that we perceive as wrong can be a difficult task for many of us. Often we have been brought up to accept that it is normal to feel guilty about our actions and that by doing so we will make everything seem alright within ourselves. Even though we might feel that we have a reason to make up for the choices we have made, it is much more important for us to learn how to deal with them in a healthy and positive way, such as through forgiveness and understanding. When we can look back at our past and really assess what has happened, we begin to realize that there are many dimensions to our actions. While feeling guilty might assuage our feelings at first, it is really only a short-term solution. It is all too ironic that being hard on ourselves is the easy way out. If we truly are able to gaze upon our lives through the lens of compassion, however, we will be able to see that there is much more to what we do and have done than we realize. Perhaps we were simply trying to protect ourselves or others and did the best we could at the time, or maybe we thought we had no other recourse and chose a solution in the heat of the moment. Once we can understand that dwelling in our negative feelings will only make us feel worse, we will come to recognize that it is really only through forgiving ourselves that we can transform our feelings and truly heal any resentment we have about our past. Giving ourselves permission to feel at peace with our past actions is one of the most positive steps we can take toward living a life free from regrets, disappointments, and guilt. The more we are able to remind ourselves that the true path to a peaceful mind and heart is through acceptance of every part of our lives and actions, the more harmony and inner joy we will experience in all aspects of our lives. Lisa Ekanger !
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 5:40 PM
“The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind." “Fate is how your life unfolds when you let fear determine your choices. A path of destiny reveals itself to you, however, when you confront your fear and make conscious choices.” “I am convinced that the deepest desire within each of us is to be liberated from the controlling influences of our own psychic madness or patterns of fear. All other things—the disdain of ordinary life, the need to control others rather than be controlled, the craving for material goods as a means of security and protection against the winds of chaos—are external props that serve as substitutes for the real battle, which is the one waged within the individual soul.” -- Caroline Myss Lisa Ekanger Your Preferred Trainer!
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 8:12 AM
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
“To feel ambition and to act upon it is to embrace the unique calling of our souls. Not to act upon that ambition is to turn our backs on ourselves and on the reason for our existence.” "Turning pro is a mindset. If we are struggling with fear, self-sabotage, procrastination, self-doubt, etc., the problem is, we're thinking like amateurs. Amateurs don't show up. Amateurs crap out. Amateurs let adversity defeat them. The pro thinks differently. He shows up, he does his work, he keeps on truckin', no matter what." “The amateur dreads becoming who she really is because she fears that this new person will be judged by others as "different." The tribe will declare us "weird" or "queer" or "crazy." The tribe will reject us. Here's the truth: the tribe doesn't give a shit. There is no tribe. That gang or posse that we imagine is sustaining us by the bonds we share is in fact a conglomeration of individuals who are just as fucked up as we are and just as terrified. Each individual is so caught up in his own bullshit that he doesn't have two seconds to worry about yours or mine, or to reject or diminish us because of it. When we truly understand that the tribe doesn't give a damn, we're free. There is no tribe, and there never was. Our lives are entirely up to us.” - Steven Pressfield Lisa Ekanger
Posted by Lisa Ekanger at 5:30 AM