Monday, September 29, 2014

Hi Meet Me, Lisa E!

Lisa Ekanger Your Hometown Realtor!

Sometimes a part of us must die before another part can come to life.

By Madisyn Taylor Sometimes a part of us must die before another part can come to life. Even though this is a natural and necessary part of our growth, it is often painful or, if we don’t realize what’s happening, confusing and disorienting. In fact, confusion and disorientation are often the messengers that tell us a shift is taking place within us. These shifts happen throughout the lives of all humans, as we move from infancy to childhood to adolescence and beyond. With each transition from one phase to another, we find ourselves saying good-bye to an old friend, the identity that we formed in order to move through that particular time. Sometimes we form these identities in relationships or jobs, and when we shift those areas of our life become unsettled. Usually, if we take the time to look into the changing surface of things, we will find that a shift is taking place within us. For example, we may go through one whole chapter of our lives creating a protective shell around ourselves because we need it in order to heal from some early trauma. One day, though, we may find ourselves feeling confined and restless, wanting to move outside the shelter we needed for so long; the new part of ourselves cannot be born within the confines of the shell our old self needed to survive. We may feel a strange mixture of exhilaration and sadness as we say good-bye to a part of ourselves that is dying and make way for a whole new identity to emerge in its place. We may find inspiration in working with the image of an animal who molts or sheds in order to make way for new skin, fur, or feathers to emerge. For example, keeping a duck feather, or some other symbol of transformation, can remind us that death and rebirth are simply nature’s way of evolving. We can surrender to this process, letting go of our past self with great love and gratitude, and welcoming the new with an open mind and heart, ready for our next phase of life. Lisa Ekanger Your Hometown Realtor!

Disapproving Faces...Not Everybody Will Like You.

It is not necessarily a pleasant experience, but there will be times in our lives when we come across people who do not like us. As we know, like attracts like, so usually when they don’t like us it is because they are not like us. Rather than taking it personally, we can let them be who they are, accepting that each of us is allowed to have different perspectives and opinions. When we give others that freedom, we claim it for ourselves as well, releasing ourselves from the need for their approval so we can devote our energy toward more rewarding pursuits. While approval from others is a nice feeling, when we come to depend on it we may lose our way on our own path. There are those who will not like us no matter what we do, but that doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with us. Each of us has our own filters built from our experiences over time. They may see in us something that is merely a projection of their understanding, but we have no control over the interpretations of others. The best we can do is to hope that the role we play in the script of their lives is helpful to them, and follow our own inner guidance with integrity. As we reap the benefits of walking our perfect paths, we grow to appreciate the feeling of fully being ourselves. The need to have everyone like us will be replaced by the exhilaration of discovering that we are attracting like-minded individuals into our lives—people who like us because they understand and appreciate the truth of who we are. We free ourselves from trying to twist into shapes that will fit the spaces provided by others’ limited understanding and gain a new sense of freedom, allowing us to expand into becoming exactly who we’re meant to be. And in doing what we know to be right for us, we show others that they can do it too. Cocreating our lives with the universe and its energy of pure potential, we transcend limitations and empower ourselves to shine our unique light, fully and freely. Lisa Ekanger

Sunday, September 28, 2014

We ‘choose’ or gravitate to people that reflect the things we believe about relationships, love, and ourselves.

Chemistry is one of those difficult to pinpoint, tricky to define linchpins of a relationship. As it’s so hard to put our fingers on, it’s actually the blanket explanation for why we stick with someone even when all signs around us point to ‘Danger! Abort mission!’. ‘We have such a strong chemistry’ is one of the most common things that gets said to me as does ‘I couldn’t be with someone who I didn’t have any chemistry with’. I think of chemistry as the result of how you both ‘vibrate’ together. Aspects of each of you resonate with the other and it creates what feels like a strong tie between you both – a connection. It’s a bit of a frisson between you both, a shared vibe, an air between you that feels like it generates something positive (even if overall it doesn’t), the way you ‘work’ together, the ‘tension’ that exists between you both. In looking at my own dating past where I’ve claimed to feel chemistry with a number of people, I realised a few things: Chemistry, whatever that intangible ‘quality’ that you have between you is, is necessary for a relationship but is often overvalued to the detriment of other aspects. Without it, you’ll feel something is missing, but without other fundamentals, it’s not going to work anyway. I also know that having ‘aspects’ between you both where there is chemistry can hide key signs that you are incompatible and this is because much like with common interests, we assume that someone who we share for example, sexual chemistry or even emotional chemistry with, is someone that will be a compatible partner. It’s also safe to say that often when you feel that you’re compatible, you may actually be compatible for the wrong reasons. This is why it feels ‘right’ even when it seems so ‘wrong’ and why you’re still banking on that emotionally unavailable or assclown ‘somebody’ who you had so much ‘chemistry’ with…you just couldn’t string a relationship together. Many times over the course of writing this blog and my ebooks, I’ve emphasised that we ‘choose’ or gravitate to people that reflect the things we believe about relationships, love, and ourselves. If we have negative beliefs, we inadvertently create a self-fulfilling prophecy that enables us to continue holding on to that belief. Obviously if we got involved with someone who challenged those beliefs, we’d have to adjust our thinking and our behaviours. Many of us are damn scared of challenging our beliefs plus we are also and often entirely unaware of the impact of quiet, hidden beliefs. I’ve also learned through experience that we are the only common denominator to the soap opera that is our relationships and that life continues throwing us up the same lessons through our relationships until we heed the warnings. Every experience you’ve had, you’re in it and if the same experience comes up with various different people, you have to look at lot closer to home at your own actions. That doesn’t make you responsible for their behaviour but it does put the power in your hands to change your part. In considering these things, I realised that chemistry is very reflective of where you are, at that particular point in your life, emotionally, spiritually, physically and that who you feel it with can and will change if you address and adapt any of these factors. If you for instance, break up with someone that you’ve experienced a lot of pain with but are still professing chemistry and claiming that you can’t imagine anyone else in your life but them, you may want to consider what hasn’t shifted that has you holding on so hard to the past. You’re ignoring an important part of the dynamic between you both where you are clearly incompatible and compensating for it by exaggerating the strength and importance of others. Much like how your relationships, your self-esteem and basically life in general is very reflective of your beliefs, the ‘chemistry’ you feel is a reflection. If you’ve ever had a parent who abused alcohol or drugs and have felt ‘impossibly’ drawn to someone who also abuses these, you can see how the ‘chemistry’ that you feel is intwertwined with how you feel about you, love, and relationships, and that actually, you’re experiencing the comfort of familiarity, even though it’s unhealthy. You can also see the effects of chemistry if you have a ‘type’. Generally speaking, when people have a type, it tends to be ‘toxic type’ working against them tied to unhealthy ideas about what they ‘think’ is ‘right’ for them, after all, having a type where you carry the same baggage, beliefs, and behaviours and end up with the same results is relationship insanity. If having that type has not yielded you a successful relationship as in, it worked in a healthy, positive manner, I would seriously question what your ‘type’ is and who you profess to have chemistry with as it’s not benefiting you and is likely limiting your options. Looking back, I now know that I felt chemistry with the guys I dated previously because they were similar on an emotional level – emotionally unavailable. Aside from physical attraction or any so-called sexual chemistry, the prospect of being with them was ‘fitting’ because emotionally I didn’t feel I was in any real danger of having to ‘risk’ myself. They were attractive because emotionally, even if we approached things differently, when it got down to the nuts and bolts of it, we were both afraid of genuine intimacy and feeling our emotions, good, bad, and indifferent. When I met or spoke with any of these people after we’d dated, the ‘chemistry’ was dead in the water and it was hard to imagine what we had in common. Once I realised that I too was emotionally unavailable and started demanding of myself to become available, when I met people who I would previously have been quite content to languish around in an ambiguous relationship for a time, I found myself rather non-plussed. I also don’t think it’s a coincidence that as I started taking care of myself physically, making my health a focal point, as well as my values shifting somewhat and feeling even more spiritually connected, that who I felt attracted to really shifted as well. It’s important to feel healthy emotional chemistry, mental/values chemistry, spiritual chemistry, and of course physical/sexual chemistry. The combination of all of these makes for a relationship where you are far more likely to be compatible and have the opportunity to forge a healthy relationship with prospects. While I don’t doubt the importance of sexual chemistry, if you don’t have the other sources of chemistry, you don’t have actual intimacy – you just have sex. That said, if you don’t have sexual chemistry, it may feel like a friendship. That said, if you have sexual chemistry but not much else, it may feel like a booty call/friends with benefits situation. If you’re both emotionally available and truly get to know one another to create true intimacy, not the ‘limited connection’ generated by emotional unavailability, you can find chemistry across all areas instead of cherry picking the ‘easy’ stuff. Even if you have emotional, spiritual and sexual chemistry, if you don’t share similar values, your relationship will struggle and you are very likely incompatible unless you can find a way to compromise. Of course, you shouldn’t compromise on values that are fundamental to your happiness and how you want to live…and neither should they. If you do, you’ll be compromising yourself. If you believe you have chemistry with someone and the relationship is struggling, it’s time to look at not what you think you have in common but what you don’t so you can better understand the dynamic between you both, what the possible incompatibilities are, and assess the possibilities of a solution. The more you ignore the areas where you’re not compatible or experiencing chemistry, the bigger a problem they present. Many people find themselves in deep trouble with their relationships because they ignore vital things because they think what they feel or other more favourable qualities make up for it – they don’t. Before you start pushing for a solution, particularly if you feel chemistry in an unhealthy partnering, I would seriously assess the origins of your interest in them and make sure that you’re not actually feeling chemistry with an unhealthy pattern. If you are and you already recognise that there are issues in your relationship, examine your beliefs, both the obvious and the hidden, to untangle why you think you have chemistry with them – you can download my beliefs guide Get Out of Stuck for more help. Moving forward, I would strongly caution you against seeking instant chemistry or overestimating how much chemistry you have because you feel it so strongly in one area. Chemistry in a relationship needs the chance to grow and if you spend time getting to know the person as a whole instead of homing in on the bits that suit, you have a far better chance of forging a healthy relationship in reality. What I do know is that even though chemistry is tricky to define and intangible, the reasons why you want to be in a relationship are not. If you’re feeling chemistry but the relationship has floundered, is struggling, or they’re not reciprocating, it’s time to take off the rose tinted glasses and fur coat of denial and list the reasons why you feel so much chemistry with them and why you want to be with them so badly. This will help bring you back into reality and take them off any pedestal that you have them on. Ultimately, if you want to feel chemistry with different people, change the way you feel about you, relationships, and love. If you don’t want to feel chemistry with someone who is emotionally unavailable and/or an assclown, address your own emotional unavailability and the drug of the chemistry will wear off. If you want to feel chemistry with the same types of people…well you already know how that one goes! Quit the relationship insanity! By Natalie Lue Lisa Ekanger

Friday, September 26, 2014

Twin Souls

Twin souls are the last two souls to individualize. They are the last two peas from the same pod. At that final separation, they vowed to be reunited after they have completed their earthly duties, before they cross over to the spiritual realm for the ascent back to the Source. Whilst they were still fused together in the same pod, their sexual gender is androgynous and not male or female. It is only when they finally separate into individuals that they take on their basic gender of male and female. This basic gender will be with the twins throughout their repeated sojourns on earth until they meet again to merge. Once they merged they revert back to be androgynous. Whilst they are alone, whether they are on earth or in spirit, although they are either basically male or female, both contain the yang and yin elements. We have many soul mates, but each of us has only one twin soul. A twin soul has every ingredient to be a whole individual. He is not a soul cut into half. However, as he has shared the same pod for the entire journey downward towards the physical earth with his twin, that attachment and longing for the twin is always there in the subliminal consciousness. The incessant throbbing of desire for the other twin is never far beneath the subconscious. It becomes more and more cogent when the soul nears the heightened state of enlightenment. That means that as soon as we become humans we have been working and practicing to achieve the ideal state to merge with our twin. As twin souls are so alike to start with, they must make the rounds to develop and learn other things so that when they merge the fused twin souls will be much richer. After the fusion, the entity will not be twosome but threesome. We prepare by growing spiritually, so that we become whole and independent. We have to increase our positive vibrations by eradicating greed, lust and anger. From our normal selfishness we repeatedly convert it to selflessness. The greatest task is to humble ourselves, otherwise pride would blind us to our twin. Then comes a stage of divine discontent, which can be obliterated by forgiveness. Forgive oneself first and then forgive the others. Then learn to love oneself and then others. In the life before the one in which we would be meeting our twins we should be well developed spiritually. Our mission is known, and we would be pursuing our life plan with determination and joy. There would be self-discipline. One twin could be running parallel jobs without realizing the presence of the other. And yet, one twin is helping the other through energy interchange. This process is not recognized by both. The best way to increase our spiritual status is to go inwards. Twin souls have the same vibrations. They come from the same mould, although not from the same womb. They are like one person bisected into two, but not one soul divided into two. Therefore, even after millions of years of separation, when they meet they know instinctively that this is the twin. Their vision, feeling and purpose are one. They see the same vision from the same spot, unlike two other people with two different sets of eyes, which see the same scene juxtaposed with one another. The twin souls see the same scene with their combined third eye. The scene arouses the same feeling in both, although both are of different personalities. In fact what they see may even be complimentary. This must be the case, as they are now brought together for a single purpose. The feeling for each other is nothing less than divines love. The unconditionally of their love equals loving your neighbour as thyself or loving the other as yourself. One does not love the other despite the other’s faults; one loves the other for the other’s faults as much as for the other’s virtues. The love of twin souls is an ideal to be copied by all. The harmony and care do not allow of envy, irritation or exasperation for the other. Pain and suffering are not allowed to emerge from either party. If there is any infliction of pain it is due to an error of omission or lack of awareness. There is absolutely no intention to hurt. Every meeting will be memorable and electric. According to Sufi teachings, twin souls are like two Roman rings interlocking with each other. They may come very close when they enter a relationship, which means the two rings almost superimpose. But when they separate for any reason, the rings try to break away, but it is not possible. They remain inter-linked throughout their sojourns on earth and during intermissions in spirit. There is always a varying amount of common space between the two rings. During any twin-soul encounter, it is bound to be hypnotically momentous. A special feeling of energy seems to pass from one to the another beyond their control. This passage of energy is both nice and exciting. This is twin soul recognizing one another without involving the intellect. These twin souls encounter the same feeling and the same quality of love and it means the end of their loneliness. Their common goal is generally to uplift and enhance the quality of humanity. Even if they do not work in the same place, having the same vision their work could become complimentary, since they have the same preferences, tastes and predilection. Their mental capacity is of the same order. Their tastes in food, music and sense of humour are all the same. Both will either like the mountains or the sea. Their handwriting and the lines on their palms are similar. At this stage of development, they both possess a polished sense of humour and are good-natured. One could go on ad nauseam. You have to meet a couple of twin souls yourself to see how much in unison they behave. Sometimes twin souls appear to be doing the same thing at the same time, e.g. writing letters to one another at the same time. Then when they meet the charged electricity and explosion would indicate in no uncertain terms that ‘this is it’. When they do meet, the age difference is of no consequence to them. The disparity could be as much as fifty years, but it is totally of no importance to the twins. They do not try to change each other for both accept each other as they are. Both are usually in the same state of health: both are either healthy or both are in the same state of incapacity. Both normally have strong telepathic linkages, and if one is sad so is the other. Conversely, happiness in one very often infects the other even though they may be thousands of miles apart and at each meeting the twosome will emit a light much brighter than the sum of two. When they do meet, physical sex will not be the end all and be all of all pleasures. Of course, they still enjoy sexual pleasure, but it is no more the ultimate. It is love between two bodies as well as two souls. At this present age very few twins are already consummating their union in spirit. Physically they do not have to be together. They may be thousands of miles apart, but their spirits meet and conjoin. The joy and pleasure is much more satisfying than physical lovemaking. This is the opinion of all those who have experienced it. The obstacles within the individual should mostly be solved by the time of the meeting. However, there may be few external obstacles that present themselves. One or both twins could have already been married when they meet. The eternal triangle is usually dealt by the almost enlightened individuals with accommodation to the existing families. If one were to hear that someone has walked out on the family to be with his or her twin soul, one can rest assured that it is not really a twin soul union. The already committed twin is too responsible and would continue to honour the pre-existing marriage. The twins will know that there must be a very good reason for this inconvenience. It could be a test or because of unresolved karmic obligations. The twins would then remain as loving friends or colleagues without marriage disruptions. This is due to fact that they are no more powered by passionate physical sex, as their love and connection is above that. They may meet at night in spirit for the purpose of uplifting a common cause. They may meet in the mental world. They know that their separation is temporary and nothing in the world can stop their final union. Of course very occasionally their meeting could precipitate a marriage breakup, but this is with a marriage that is already collapsing. The breakup may induce some benefit to the aggrieved members, who can start anew with their own new partners. With this in mind, the twins who do unite do cultivate fidelity, joy, love and trust, and their union would be as solid as a rock. Everyone on earth has been drawing closer and closer to his or her twin soul, whether they know it or not, whether they want it or not. The journey of this search started the minute we individualize eons ago. In the earlier stages, we were ignorant of this treasure hunt. We just obeyed our instincts and desires. There appears to be some degree of urgency in this search for our souls at middle age, just because we are nearing the end of our search. When are we going to meet our twin? It is not for us to know. It can be tomorrow or even the next life. As in the mystic path, when one finds oneself in the ‘dark night of the soul’, one knows that the time is nigh. At this stage of our search, the loneliness is intense. This darkness of sadness, suffering and pain has no end in sight. However, lo and behold one’s twin suddenly turns up at the next corner! She could be the nurse, doctor or the social worker. Or the twin may be at the church gathering that you started to attend. One never knows, but the twin will certainly appear. If it is not in this life, then it will be the next life at the latest. So do not despair. The twin will definitely turn up. You have no choice in this matter. Lisa Ekanger

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

You were totally aware...

When you were born you were totally aware that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. And then you got older. And things happened. And you started to forget the Truth. You started moving out of the awareness of love and into fear, doubt, and judgment. The answer: “ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!” is the answer to that question. I unequivocally assure you that there is nothing wrong with you. Even if you feel stuck. Even if you cannot figure out what you want to do with your life or hate your job. Even if you snapped at your spouse or child this morning. Even if you are ten pounds heavier than you want. Even if you are single and long for a partner. Even if you had a terrible childhood. Even if you have debt. Even if you have been labeled with a diagnosis. There is not a single reason in the entire universe that anything could possibly be wrong with you so please STOP LOOKING! — Christine Hassler Lisa Ekanger

Just Love You.

Lisa Ekanger

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Love me, love my flaws!

I interrupt people I have buck teeth A cross bite A lisp I stutter I have rough hands I dont share my chocolate I talk too loud I talk too much I laugh too loud and at wrong times Im not good at saving money I have a lot of nervous energy Sometimes I have nightmares I have a hard time focusing I dont like to exercise Im not in a good mood if I stay up too late Im not in a good mood if I have to get up too early. Im terrible at math Im a poor listener I get bored easily I get bored with other people easily Ive got dry skin...and now im getting wrinkles too I dont care what other people think Im not all that interested in food I expect people to love me...just because! I struggle caring about sports like football etc... Im pushy I keep pushing until youre mine or you put a stop to it. I fight with convention and authority I wear too much makeup I dont always take my makeup off before bed I like being the center of attention I dont like yard! These are most of my flaws! #justsayin! Lisa Ekanger

What "no" means

Seth Godin's Blog on marketing, tribes and respect What "no" means •I'm too busy •I don't trust you •This isn't on my list •My boss won't let me •I'm afraid of moving this forward •I'm not the person you think I am •I don't have the resources you think I do •I'm not the kind of person that does things like this •I don't want to open the door to a long-term engagement •Thinking about this will cause me to think about other things I just don't want to deal with What it doesn't mean: •I see the world the way you do, I've carefully considered every element of this proposal and understand it as well as you do and I hate it and I hate you. Lisa Ekanger

Monday, September 22, 2014

Just for Today Affirmations...

Just for today, I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime. Just for today, I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that "most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be." Just for today, I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. Just for today, I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my "luck" as it comes, and fit myself to it. Just for today, I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out. I will do at least two things I don't want to--just for discipline I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it. Just for today, I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticize not one bit, not find fault with anything and not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself. Just for today, I will have a schedule. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision. Just for today, I will have a quiet half hour all by myself, and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life. Just for today, I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me. Lisa Ekanger

Let karma have its way ...

Let karma have its way with those who look to harm you...we don't have any power to change their destinies anyway....the law of attraction works both ways...they don't attract good things if they send bad intentions. ..they create their own future with their intentions. This is a universal law friend! So stay strong and keep working on being the best you...keep the progress moving are amazing and keep getting better my friend! Be so great that nothing negative anyone says or does will ever impact your heart again! #truestory Your Friend, Lisa Ekanger

Friday, September 12, 2014

Those who are still fleeing from their own fears will try to sabotage us.

"When we’re living as amateurs, we’re running away from our calling—meaning our work, our destiny, the obligation to become our truest and highest selves." "Turning pro changes how people perceive us.
They will tell us we’ve changed and try to undermine our efforts at further change. They will attempt to make us feel guilty for these changes. They will try to entice us to get stoned with them or fuck off with them or waste time with them, as we’ve done in the past, and when we refuse, they will turn against us and talk us down behind our backs." - Steven Pressfield Lisa Ekanger !

Thursday, September 11, 2014

In honor of all who lost their lives 13 years ago...

In honor of all who lost their lives 13 years ago...and more, for all of those who live and remember them with the daily pain of loss and emptiness: What is an American? "An American is English, or French, or Italian, Irish, German, Norwegian, Spanish, Polish, Russian or Greek. An American may also be Canadian, Mexican, African, Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Australian, Iranian, Asian, or Arab, or Pakistani or Afghan. An American may also be a Comanche, Cherokee, Osage, Blackfoot Navaho, Apache, Seminole or one of the many other tribes known as Native Americans. An American is Christian, or he could be Jewish, or Buddhist, or Muslim. In fact, there are more Muslims in America than in Afghanistan. The only difference is that in America they are free to worship as they wish. An American is also free to believe in no religion. An American will answer only to God, not to the government, or to armed thugs claiming to speak for the government and for God. An American lives in the most prosperous land in the history of the world. The root of that prosperity can be found in the Declaration of Independence, which recognizes the God given right of each person to the pursuit of happiness. An American is generous. Americans have helped out just about every other nation in the world in their time of need, never asking a thing in return. When Afghanistan was over-run by the Soviet army 20 years ago, Americans came with arms and supplies to enable the people to win back their country. As of the morning of September 11, Americans had given more than any other nation to the poor in Afghanistan. Americans welcome the best of everything...the best products, the best books, the best music, the best food, the best services. But they also welcome the least. The national symbol of America, The Statue of Liberty, welcomes your tired and your poor, the wretched refuse of your teeming shores, the homeless, tempest tossed. These are the people who built America. Some of them were working in the Twin Towers the morning of September 11, 2001 earning a better life for their families. It's been told that the World Trade Center victims were from at least 30 different countries, cultures, and first languages, including those that aided and abetted the terrorists. So you can try to kill an American if you must. Hitler did. So did General Too, and Stalin, and Mao Testing, and other blood-thirsty tyrants in the world. But, in doing so you would just be killing yourself. Because Americans are not a particular people from a particular place. They are the embodiment of the human spirit of freedom. Everyone who holds to that spirit, everywhere, is an American. Pass this around the World? Then pass it around again. It says it all, for all of us.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Monday, September 8, 2014

My year long comittment to Anais Nin...

When Nin became too familiar with herself or anyone else, she dismantled her deepest convictions and reassessed them. Obeying a compulsion to explore personal identity as a means of understanding human nature, Nin repeatedly breaks her mirror and pieces it back together. The result is a glittering, fractured mask of self and other. Here are five of Nin’s most luminous reflections. 1. “The truly faithless one is the one who makes love to only a fraction of you. And denies the rest.” Nin was a bit of an Ethical Slut, which is to say, she had a moral approach to intimate relationships that eschewed the conventional regard for monogamy. Cheating, by Nin's standard, is not defined by having more than one lover, but by a lover’s failure to embrace their partner wholly and fully. This implies that one should love their partner(s) not in spite of physical or psychological imperfections, but including or even because of them. 2. “Pain is something to master, not to wallow in.” Nin was prone to emotional anguish that sometimes manifested itself physically, and though she was drawn to the opiate-craving June Miller and other dabblers, she was suspicious of drug addicts and their avoidant behavior. She believed in confronting all feelings, positive or negative, and struggled to come to terms with the discomforts of her hypersensitive constitution. 3. “The only abnormality is the incapacity to love.” When we allow ourselves to be tyrannized by notions of normalcy, our best interests can become alien to us. Maybe, as Nin suggests, we should stop having monstrous "debates" about who should be allowed to marry or semantic disputes over the definition of family. Instead of trying to define what’s normal, we should recalibrate our connection to that which is natural: our ability to love. Otherwise, as Nin says in another entry, we’re liable to put ourselves "in bondage to the past." 4. “And the day came when the risk it took to stay tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Seeing a tarantula molt is like watching a person lying flat on their back trying to wriggle out of a pair of skinny jeans very, very slowly. Afterward, the tarantula is so vulnerable that even the smallest disturbance can seriously injure it. It’s not a comfortable process for the spider, but staying in the undersized exoskeleton isn’t an option. As Nin points out, there are moments in life when taking a risk and making a change are absolutely essential for personal growth. But even if the change is unavoidable, making it takes courage. 5. “We are going to the moon—that is not very far. Man has so much farther to go within himself.” Astrobiologists may be pursuing intelligent life elsewhere, but Nin believed in endless possibility, beauty, and variety here on earth, and she longed for others to feel the same way. As she says in the first volume of her diary, “I want to be a writer who reminds others … I want to prove that there is infinite space, infinite meaning, infinite dimension.” Lisa Ekanger

Change can enter our lives silently and this change can be just as important as change we have worked hard for.

By Madisyn Taylor We all see things about ourselves, our relationships, and our world that we want to change. Often, this desire leads us to take action toward inner work that we need to do or toward some external goal. Sometimes, without any big announcement or momentous shift, we wake up to find that change has happened, seemingly without us. This can feel like a miracle as we suddenly see that our self-esteem really does seem to be intact, or our partner actually is helping out around the house more. We may even wonder whether all of our hard work had anything to do with it, or if it just happened by way of grace. As humans, sometimes we have relatively short attention spans, and we can easily lose track of time. We may worry about a seedling in a pot with our constant attention and watering for several weeks only to find ourselves enjoying the blooms it offers and wondering when that happened, and how we didn’t notice it. Nature, on the other hand, has infinite patience and stays with a thing all the way through its life. This doesn’t mean that our efforts play no part in the miracle of change—they do. It’s just that they are one small part of the picture that finally results in the flowering of a plant, the shifting of a relationship, the softening of our hearts. The same laws that govern the growth of plants oversee our own internal and external changes. We observe, consider, work, and wonder, tilling the soil of our lives, planting seeds, and tending them. Sometimes the hard part is knowing when to stop and let go, handing it over to the universe. Usually this happens by way of distraction or disruption, our attention being called away to other more pressing concerns. And it is often at these times, when we are not looking, in the silence of nature’s embrace, that the miracle of change happens. Lisa Ekanger

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Being a sensitive person in this world can sometimes feel very draining...

By Madisyn Taylor Keeping our energy strong and pure throughout the day is vital to somebody that is sensitive. Being a sensitive person in this world can sometimes feel very draining due to the fact that we are very receptive to the energy of the people and environment around us. Still, we want to be part of situations that involve small or large groups of people, and we would like to do it without becoming overwhelmed or exhausted. With a few simple strategies we can entertain at home and socialize in the world without running the risk of losing ourselves in someone else’s energy or giving our energy away. All this takes is a little time and practice, and the result—being part of social events without ending up depleted—is well worth the effort. The whole purpose of this self-care ritual is to help keep yourself strong energetically when you are in a situation that could potentially be draining. For example, if you are having a party, you might take some time to prepare beforehand. Just as you spend time cleaning your home and preparing food, it is essential to prepare your inner home for the event. This can be as simple as taking a mindful walk or a cleansing bath, or engaging in any other activity that gives you energy. You can even just sit alone for a set period of time, tuning in to your energy and connecting to yourself so that you are less easily carried away by the energy outside of yourself. You may employ a mantra such as “I am centered and safe in the home of myself.” You can also charge a crystal or gemstone or any piece of jewelry with protective energy and wear it or carry it with you. This can be helpful during the event when just seeing it or touching it can remind you that you are centered and safe.! Keep in mind that it is always acceptable to excuse yourself for a bathroom break or to step outside for a moment. This can give you the time and space you need to check in with yourself and correct any energetic imbalances you detect. Whether you are at home or out in the world, taking care of yourself in this way enables you to keep your energy strong, even as you open yourself to others. Lisa Ekanger