One of the most moving experiences of my life took place on September 13, 1997, when I was autographing books. One lady who asked for an autograph had such a compelling expression on her face that I knew I had to listen carefully to what she had to say. She shared with me that when she got the self-talk card that was included in one of my audiotape programs, she couldn't even read the first list of qualities that she was supposed to claim.
Throughout her life she had been so beaten down by her family and husband, that it was impossible for her to believe that she had the character and success qualities that I identified. It took two or three weeks of listening to the tapes to build herself up to the point where she could look herself in the eye and claim that she was an honest, intelligent, goal-setting person. She continued to claim additional qualities until she could go through the entire list of 60-plus positive qualities. As a result, her demeanor and attitude changed dramatically. She started standing up straight, smiling, and even laughing.
Then something truly fascinating happened. Her husband watched her new attitude emerge...and decided maybe claiming the qualities could do the same for him. He started claiming the qualities and he, too, started to change. "He especially changed in the way he treated me," the woman told me. "Today we're getting along better than ever and are happier than we've ever been." The first part of her story was interrupted by tears. She was very emotional. In the last part of her story, as she talked about the changes in her husband and their relationship, she smiled.
The most important opinion you have is the opinion you have of yourself, and the most important conversations you will ever have are the conversations you have with yourself. The reality is that you cannot consistently, consciously claim all the qualities on the self-talk card without changing.
Lisa Ekanger Your Hometown Realtor!