I've written about this topic before - but I feel that it needs a little refresher.
What IS this problem? Well, it's a dream killer. And if it's not corrected, it will derail not only your dreams, but your purpose and fill you with all kinds of resentment.
Do you want to know what this problem is? Maybe you have it, too? :o) I kid, but only a little bit.
Here's the problem: Making your parents approval more important than following your dreams.
The basic storyline goes something like this: I have a dream, but that dream seems reckless. My parents want me to do something that will pay the bills, but that doesn't line up with my dreams. I don't want to let my parents down, and sometimes I don't want to be happier than them, or challenge them, because that would make me a mean person. So, instead of following my dreams, I'm going to give up and take the "certain" path, where I can make money - and put my dreams on the back burner, because, after all, not EVERYONE gets to live their dreams.
Now. Before I write one more word, I want to point something out. Our parents, for the most part, Love us. And the way that they are showing that Love is by wanting us to have financial certainty. But you see, in that process, what many parents do without knowing it is participate in killing our dreams as well.
It's totally normal to want your kids to be safe and protected and have food and shelter. Pretty normal. The thing is, so many of us choose what we think is the "certain" path that leads to financial security. And we come to find out that with a majorly shifting job market and economy, that those jobs we were going for some how disappeared.
We asked a question in the old jobs market, which was, "How can I extract value from my employer?" That is, what are the benefits, is it a secure company, do I have "job security", etc. But, the world is changing and we are being called to ask a new question - and that question is, "How can I give my gift to the world and solve a problem in the world by doing so?"
We are shifting from a money driven world to a purpose driven world. And many of us don't know that we can and will be supported in giving our gift to the world and solve problems in the world. This reminds me of a quote from Jesus in the Gospel of Thomas in which He says, "If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you don't bring forth will destroy you."
It's a simple message: Give your gift to the world and you will be provided for; don't give your gift to the world and good luck.
And deep down, this is what we want. And many times we give up on this because we want to take the "certain" path that our parents want us to go down.
But you see, our mothers are not our mothers and our fathers are not our fathers. The Uni-verse is both our mother and our father and It planted a seed of potential within us, a gift that we must give the world. We love our mother and our father, but it is not their approval we seek, but rather our own internal approval knowing that we are living in our purpose. This can be a painful switch.
The journey from needing parents approval to hearing their advice but making our own choices in alignment with our purpose is called re-parenting. And it's necessary if we want to live our dreams. If we don't do this, we will be at risk of killing our dreams. And no one wants that.
Our parents love us. This is not making them wrong; it's simply a call to see life in a slightly different way - where our choices are Self-Approved, instead of parent-approved.
Lisa Ekanger Your Hometown Realtor!